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"I do not peddle flesh. I sell dreams."
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[Jul. 18th, 2009|06:28 pm] |
Dudes, Being Human is completely awesome. The show, I mean, not actually being human, because as I have said previously, that's actually a bit rub. But anyway, oh my God, George! I love him! He is my favouritest werewolf of all the werewolves throughout the recorded history of time! He's so shrill and flaily and random.
Annie and Mitchell are also good. Evil Fiance Owen is good in the sense that he is horrifying and evil. Herrick is not good, because he's like a poor mans' Holland Manners, who in turn was a bargain basement version of the Mayor. But mostly GEORGE! Oh, he is so wonderful. I hope it runs for millions of years and I never get bored or snarky about it and they never introduce lame plots where, FOR EXAMPLE, Lauren turns up with Mitchell's baby whose arrival was foretold by prophecy and who has the power to RUIN EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW EVER AND GENERALLY WHINE AND HAVE A STUPID FUCKING FACE.
Oh God Vincent Kartheiser, I fucking hate you. |
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[Jun. 28th, 2009|11:52 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | angel, buffy, christian kane, david boreanaz, dickens, firefly, joss whedon, numb3rs, poor ickle lindsey, serenity, the dave, zombies | ] |
Dudes! Okay so, I generally try and pretend the last four seasons of Buffy never happened, mostly because thinking about them sparks off a twnety minute string of profanities about the shitness of Dawn/Riley/Kennedy and the downfall of Buffy and I really try not to mention what Xander devolved into because it breaks my heart a bit and of course you have Spike's eighty-odd-episodes-long character rape and I'm going to stop now because otherwise this post will be another swearathon, but anyway! So I always thought that Andrew was a bit shit, although in fairness by the time it ended he was the only one I wasn't actively hoping would die, but only because he was just lame instead of rage-inducingly dislikable. But anyway, I was watching that episode of Angel with the mental Slayer who cuts off Spike's hands, and I realised, it's Amita from Numb3rs. And now I'm thinking, Andrew can't have been as much of a 'tard as I thought he was, because apparently his training program not only makes you not be crazy, it turns you into a kind of Maths Superhero.
And now I think Amita Ramanujan: Vampire Slayer should be a show. Or maybe she can be a character in my Zombie Dickens fest - like when Zombie Twist is all, "Please sir, can I have some more... BRAINS ARRRGHRAHGARGHCHOMPYFACE!" Amita can dramatically ninja in through the window and dismember him.
I'm not sure how I feel about Amita/The Dave, though. Probably he would have another love interest that was Lindsey no I didn't just write that.
Also, where is all my Jayne/Simon porn? I thought I bookmarked it under memories but it's gone away. Boo! |
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[Jun. 27th, 2009|11:12 am] |
Okay dudes. So now that Bones has descended into a world of suckiness and hurt, I think it's time there was another vehicle for David Boreanaz to showcase his particular brand of being a champion of good through the medium of brutal violence. So we need to come up with a format that will include all of the following:
- The Dave digs.
- The Dave wears a hat.
- The Dave rescues puppies.
- The Dave hugs distraught children.
- The Dave wears a white vest.
- The Dave broods.
- The Dave does the Angel Dance.
- The Angel Dance must now also include a part where he plays air instruments.
- The Dave uses his Charm Smile on someone.
- The Dave punches people.
- The Dave pistol whips people (this bit is super-important - these days, if someone isn't getting pistol-whipped, I don't feel I've been entertained).
- The Dave smashes down doors.
- The Dave is involved in a brutal, knock-down drag-out fist fight that lasts no less than ten on-screeen minutes.
- The Dave sulks.
- The Dave makes his "please don't seduce me" face.
- The Dave is cranky.
- The Dave is inappropriately giddy.
Now, I realise, looking at this, that I could get all of this by watching Angel or Bones, and that's fine, except for the parts that involves Sweets or Cam or Fred or Connor or snoretastic plot arcs about Gormogons or Jasmines. So really what we need is something that already has a great plot, but can be adapted for The Dave without the need to introduce annoying pointless characters who wreck ewverything.
And thus was born: The Dickens/Zombie/The Dave Extravaganza - an entire season of Dickens adaptations containing all the blood, gore and zombies that Dickens would have intended if he had been alive when the Evil Dead movies came out. Nicholas Zombilby, Zombie Expectations, Bleak Zombie, Zombie Twist, A Zombie of Two Cities, the Zombie Tollbooth - the possibilities are varied and marvellous.
Also I think Lindsey should be in it, because I just watched Dead End and I had forgotten how entertaining his big gay unrequited crush on Angel was. And really, if there was ever anyone who deserved to get savaged by zombies, it was... well, actually it was Gavin, because he REALLY sucked, but watching terrible things happen to Lindsey was a key aspect of Angel in my house. Also, Leverage is a bit rub and he doesn't get his hand cut off or ANYTHING, so let's go back to traditional values, where getting in the way of justice means you get your parts cut off. YAY! |
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[Jun. 20th, 2009|11:49 am] |
Oh Bones, where did things go so wrong for us? You were my Unexpectedly Delightful New Show of 2006. You redeemed David Boreanaz at a time when it seemed his glory days were long since past. You earned him the League of Hot's highest honour, elevating him to the rank of The Dave and making him part of the Holy Trinity of Hotness. You were beautiful, and I loved you.
But ever since that first season ended, dark forces have been at work behind the scenes, slowly chipping away all that was once good and pure and replacing it with things that are evil and failsome.
Where once Daddy Goodman ruled the medico-legal lab with a deep voice and an authoritarian beard, now there is only Evil Cam and her lame, boring attempt to be "hip" and "sassy" while also "dedicated to her work". It's like you took everything that was annoying about Brennan and everything that was annoying about Angela and combined them with a few extra annoying qualities to make one giant superfluous pile of irritation.
Then came Gordon Gordon, forensic psychiatrist extraordinairre, who forced The Dave into drinking tea and forgiving Hodgins. He was awesome, and we loved him, and he was replaced the next season with Sweets, whose sole claim to fame is the fact that his teeth are so huge you could surf the Banzai pipeline on them.
And oh, Zack. You deserved so much better. Most supporting characters only get royally screwed over in one season finale - you had it twice in a row. I can only imagine what kind of goon will take your place in the new series.
In fact, that's the underlying theme of Bones - let's take away everything fun and good and replace it with boringness and hate. Forget Angela/Jack - who wants all that sexiness and interesting, likable characters? Let's bring Fred and Wesley back and really suck the joy out of our audience. And Caroline is far too much fun - where is Ally McBeal when you want a lawyer with as much screen presence as a used tissue? No doubt by season six they will kill Booth off, as having a lead actor with charm and charisma and passable acting ability will no longer fit with the direction of the show. Maybe once CSI: Miami ends, they can bring in David Caruso, thus effectively transforming what was once a thing of beauty and light into a gaping hole in the fabric of the television universe.
Fuck you Bones. You have failed in your duty to... not fail. Or something. |
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[Dec. 15th, 2008|10:29 pm] |
You guys, I just finished watching the last season of the West Wing and it was so good I think my face might melt off from the joy of it! In fact, I think the only way it could possibly have been improved is if there was an episode where President Bartlett got Puppet!Cancer and they had to orchestrate a massive cover-up while trying to find a cure. And even then, Puppet!Cancer is not very West Wing-y, so it's probably best they didn't*. Except now I'm all, "Hmm, I think I shall watch Moonlight," and you know how Moonlight is actually not a very good show anyway? It's even worse when you watch it after three weeks of beautiful Josh the West Wing.
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ARGH OH MY GOD SOMEBODY BUY ME STUDIO 60 I AM GETTING AIDS FROM LACK OF JOSH! *rolls around on the floor foaming at the mouth*
*Although, come on, that would rock! CJ would crack at the press podium and come clean and the reporters would all be like, "Whatevs, CJ, you could at least make up a convincing lie!" Josh would hide under his desk and pretend the whole thing wasn't happening. Will would be confused and slightly intimidated and have pockets filled with olives. Toby would yell at everyone and hurl rubber balls with reckless abandon (so, no change). Then at the end Margeret would be revealed as a secret Communist puppet spy who masterminded the whole plot and everyone would be like, GASP! Leo would shake his head sadly as they dragged her away in handcuffs. |
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[Sep. 12th, 2008|08:58 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | american gothic, angel, black sheep, college of knowledge, dancing is for retards, dark knight, family von froodle, gary cole, halloween, heath ledger, highlander, liam neeson is god, lucas buck, nurse!joker, paintshop silliness, roar, stargate, the tribe, zombies | ] |
Wow, I suck at updating. In my defence though, I have been extremely distracted by a combination of Roar and Stargate Atlantis - in the episode I'm watching right now, Ronan has just invented a game where the sole purpose is to give him an excuse for grabbing Johns ass. And Sheppards just like, okay, that's a totally believable game, I'll go along with it. I mean, really. When I was in college, we did this whole bit on consent obtained by deception, and there was one case about a music teacher who touched up (euphamism for something much worse I don't want to go into this early in the morning) his students under the pretence that it would improve their singing. I always used to wonder how anyone could be that naive, and now I know - they were all related to John Sheppard.
Anyway, leaving aside random military dudes who don't even know when they're being molested, Roar is so... okay, it's like what would happen if Highlander and the Tribe had a baby - it's so poor, but at the same time, it has so much leather-clad Heath, and therefore it's really hard for me to form a definate opinion. And then there are a couple of really great episodes, not to mention a few scenes where you can totally tell it's done by the same guy who did American Gothic, and therefore at least temporarily awesome. Unfortunately, Longinus and Diana, the nominal baddies, are clearly meant to be cast from the same mould as Lucas and Selina, and they completely fail to measure up. Especially Longinus, who frankly is a whingy little Roman bitch. I kind of like Diana, though, if only because she shares my hatred for dance.
On the subject of how much I hate dance, Mama Froodle came to visit again last week - it was pretty enjoyable, apart from the part where she forced me to go to the ballet. Let me just state again - I HATE DANCE. Especially ballet, which is just a bunch of underfed white boys flailing around like spastics who've gone off their medication. It was like - you know that episode of Angel where they go to Pylea, and Lorne is explaining that they have no music, but unfortunately they still have dancing, and then Numquar does the dance of joy in complete silence? It was like that, for three hours. I only survived because I started fantasizing about shooting everyone onstage in their kneecaps. Fortunately, as with all great artists, pain and suffering leads to creativity, so I give you ( Read more... )
In other news, seven weeks 'til Halloween, yay! ASDA have already put their decorations and things out - this year they have a really cool skeleton in a hanging cage, and when you press a button the skeleton shouts and rattles the bars and tries to escape, and an awesome jug in the shape of a skull. I also got a set of four really cute votive candle holders decorated with bats which arrived today (hence why I'm up so early). Also, fair warning to anyone attending Casa Del Froodle this year who plans on turning up in a Nurse!Joker costume - I will try to grab your ass. I promise I won't pretend it's some lame homoeroticized version of Capture The Flag, though. Seriously, Ronan. Fail. |
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[Aug. 20th, 2008|11:42 pm] |
Okay, I just finished watching the second season of Heroes, and I will at least semi-retract all the snarky comments I made about Sylar being a complete 'tard in terms of villiany. I mean, he's still pretty much a whiny little bitch in an alpha-male body, and he certainly doesn't stand up to time-honoured villians of awesome such as Angelus and the Mayor*, but ( Read more... )
Also, I really do not care if Adam/Kensei/whatever is evil or not, because he is hi-lariously awesome and completely wins at drunkenness and sucker-punching folk and generally being suave and English and not crying about everything like a big fucking loser, and that makes a man rise very high in my estimation. Not to mention the fact that if it wasn't for him, ( Read more... )
Hmm, I thought I had more to say here, but probably talking about the hotness of Nathan has driven any other thoughts out of my mind, so I'll leave it here.
*For the record, he can't karate-chop midgets either, but I'm pretty sure that is a super-power unique to Colin Farrel, so I won't bitch. |
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[Jul. 20th, 2008|12:16 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | 28 weeks later, angel, dahmer, i am sick, jeremy renner, job of doom, kathy najimy, liam neeson, liam neeson is god, lou diamond phillips, numb3rs, swat | ] |
So apparently I have laryngitis. I would like to say YES OH MY GOD THANK YOU LIAMNEESON! but I have completely lost my voice, so I can't say anything at all. And in case you're wondering why I should be so joyful about contracting a voice-stealing viral infection, it's because I am now doctor-ordered to stay off the 'phones and away from fuckwit customers. So in your FACE, House of Gas, if you'd let me off when I first told you my voice was going and my throat hurt, it probably wouldn't have gotten to this stage, but now? Now you can suck my DICK for the next few weeks. That'll teach you to treat your employees like shit and assume you know the rhythms of my body better than I do.
On an entirely different note, is there some kind of secret rule that Jeremy Renner doesn't get to live to the end of any movie ever? Even when you really think that this time will be the time he makes it, he always ends up getting stabbed or run over by a train or set on fire by the stupid US Army. Also, it's very confusing when people keep calling him Doyle. I don't think that should be allowed.
In other news, I have been re-watching the earlier seasons of Numb3rs, you know, back when Don supplied the required amounts of suspect-beating and manly violence, and seriously, it is so awesome. I love that bit where Megan and Charlie are having a conversation about some evil professor dude having a poker tell, and Megan's all, *gives psychological advice* and then Charlie asks to borrow some FBI survelliance equiptment to spy on the evil dude and Megan's like, "Uhh... no." And Charlie looks really put out, like it was a totally reasonable request and Megan's just being awkward about it. Also, the whole Thing with Megan and Larry is so cute and filled with convoluted cosmic metaphor and general coolity. Like when they're having a conversation about bathtubs and Megan's all, trying to insinuate Adult Things and Larry keeps going on and on about Archimedes and other Larry-like stuff and it's just great and adorkable.
Also, the whole Colby/Charlie thing has totally grown on me - like in the treasure-huntin' episode when Liz is all new and Charlie is jibbing about some... I think it was a towboat or something, I don't know... and Liz is being all skeptical about the POWERS OF MATHS and she's like, "Tch, silliness!" and Colby's all, "No really, he's fun to watch" and Liz gives him this look like, "Yeah, maybe for you, I prefer my Eppes with more MANLY VIOLENCE, thank you very much." And when Kathy Najimy keeps trying to manipulate Charlie into doing stuff by comparing him to James Bond, and he shows up at a crime scene in a tux and he's all, IMMA LIKE JAMES BOND WITH MATHS! and Colby is like, "no" and Charlie is like, *sadface* and OMG you guys it is so cute, go and watch Numb3rs!
Argh... you know when you want fic, but you're too lazy to go look for it yourself? That's what I'm like at the moment. Somebody go find me some Colby/Charlie fic that is awesome and contains no sadness or angst or anything bad. Oh, and especially nothing where the characters waste pages and pages whining about how Don/David/Alan/Larry/Megan will react. They will be awesome, just like they always are. Lou Diamond Phillips will probably be disapproving, but he and Don will glare at each other through their alpha-male sunglasses until they feel the issue is resolved. Then everyone will drink coffee. It's just like a real episode, but with mankissing! I should totally write for TV. |
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[May. 4th, 2006|10:12 pm] |
People on my FList keep posting pictures of Kingdom Hearts II and Advent Children and I don't always stop to check the community name and then it leaves me all like, OMG RIKKU IS IN ADVENT CHILDREN WHY?!?! and then I think of how much I hate Sulky Squall and how David Boreanaz did his voice in KHI and I was all like, "Oh great, now you're whiny and voiced by Angel" and I secretly thought he might have an evil alter ego but NO, there was just Squall. Being sulky. Getting his ass kicked by Haley Joel Osmond. And... it's very confusing to me.
Also, shut up Amazon I do not want Sharpe's Challenge! Stop being all temptifying with the promise of Sean Bean only to deliver Ye Olde Sean Bean because it hurts my feelings! Besides, I need the Sentinal and Gargoyles and the Moomins and so many other things and oh my God why does everything have to cost money? People should buy me stuff just for being awesome. I'm going to take it up with Liamneeson at the next staff meeting. |
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[Feb. 6th, 2006|10:30 pm] |
Girly squee! John Connolly will be back in Leeds on March 8 for some kind of "event" in Ottokars. Said "event" had better involve him signing my books and possibly me taking along an interpreter in case I get overwhelmed by fangirlish glee and forget my own name. And yes, that actually has happened to be, although not in front of John Connolly who is awesome and charming and remains unruffled by fangirls who tend to twitch and blush and squirm whenever he looks at them.
In other, girly-squee-related news, I just finished watching that episode where Starbuck gets stranded on a planet filled with Irish people - or rather, people with brogues that would make both David Boreanaz and Oliver Stone weep with the agony of their fakeness - and everyone there is named after some sin committed by their ancestors, and everyone wants to know what kind of sin "Starbucking" is and all I can think of is that it sounds really, really dirty.
In the best possible way, of course. |
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[Oct. 3rd, 2005|10:28 pm] |
There's a new guy at work called Giles. Seriously. At first I thought he was messing around, but no, that's actually his first name. There are no words to describe how awesome that is. We also have a guy whose last name is Lister, but he always uses Mark at work, so that's no fun. Alexis and I are now on a quest to collect the entire cast of Buffy, even if it means cheating and "accidently" writing Angel instead of Angela on a call log. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of viable alternatives for Buffy, but we're optimists at heart, so we perservere. Besides, dumbass breeders these days will name their poor kids anything.
And speaking of dumbasses and breeders, I feel I may soon snap and kill Idiothairdresser. For those of you who aren't subjected to my rantings and ravings either IRL or over MSN, Idiothairdresser is someone I work with who, as the name suggests, is both an idiot and a hairdresser. She also has the shrill, nasal voice charateristic of the Fuckwit Townie, and delights in regaling the office with tales of her drunken Friday night exploits, complete with a full catalogue of how many drinks she had, which clubs she had them in and what the drinks were. Needless to say, my hate for her burns like the power of a thousand Fanelias. The list of her crimes is endless, but includes being a Fuckwit Townie, being a Loud Fuckwit Townie, being annoying, engaging in Petty Office Politics, pissing me off, saying "I just can't get into reading" approximately fifty thousand times a day, usually when someone else is attempting to study or read, having a stupid voice, getting on my nerves, being thick, saying "I'm booooored!" in a whiny "entertain me" tone, and spending her time blathering about her insignificant, worthless existance when we're incredibly busy and being screamed at by customers because she's not doing her fucking job. I can only hope one day the giant flab-goiter which her double-chin has long since mutated into succeeds in it's quest to suffocate her while she sleeps. Grow, little flab-goiter, grow! |
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[Sep. 23rd, 2005|11:49 pm] |
There is a guy on my course whose name I cannot recall, but who is forever emblazoned in my mind as the guy who said "Cricket" when the property law lecturer asked what environmental issues a potential homebuyer would look into, and hinted that it had been on the news a lot recently. For this reason, I call him Cricket. He looks kinda like Lindsey McDonald but with better hair. I keep looking at him and wondering if he has ickle tattooes under his clothes. Then I wonder if he has a stalker's shrine to Angel in his bedroom.
I think the answer is yes. |
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[Sep. 21st, 2005|11:31 pm] |
So it turns out that threatening to have the families of your opponents killed isn't an accepted tactic in legal negotiations after all. Which means that Joss Whedon has lied to me. Again.
On the bright side, at least I discovered this before I moved on to kicking the opposition, chair and all, through a plate-glass window. I think that might give the staff the impression that I'm psychotic, or at least a bad man.
And on that note, OMFGHURRYUPSERENITYINEEDMYJAYNEFIX.
Froodle out. |
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[Sep. 15th, 2005|09:42 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | angel, chocolat, colin firth, david boreanaz, donald sutherland, fake mr darcy, horror movies, i hate keira knightley, importance of being earnest, joanne harris, johnny depp, joss whedon, judi dench, matthew mcfayden, serenity, snithy, susannah harker, zombies | ] |
So, today the vile and filthy Hannah forced me to go see the new Pride and Prejudice with her so that she might indulge her unwholesome lust for Keira Knightley's angry tadpole-shaped eyebrows. And... it was terrible. Oh, don't get me wrong, Judi Dench and Donald Sutherland were every bit as awesome as usual, but Keira Knightley just really needs to be killed, or at least forced never to act again on pain of being killed, and Matthew MacFadyen is less "aloof and aristocratic Mr Darcy" and more "sweet and socially inept Angel". I swear, at one point he actually makes David Boreanaz's patent "please don't seduce me" face. And while God knows I love socially retarded!Angel, MacFadyen doesn't even have the decency to do the Angel dance or turn into a puppet, and therefore it makes me sad.
And that's not even the worst of it. Oh no. Prizes go to Rosamund Pike for the blandest, most insipid Jane ever to make it to film (yes, I'm biased, and yes, I love Susannah Harker and wish to bear her babies, but seriously, Pike is quite possibly more irritating than Keira "Angry Tadpoles of DOOM" Knightley), and to Simon Woods for one creepy-ass interpretation of Charles Bingley. I'm serious, every time he smiles at Jane, he's totally imagining peeling her skin off with a knife and stitching a suit out of it. Not to mention, he has the stupidest hairstyle imaginable and he's ginger.
However, my suffering was not in vain, since I may now force Hannah to go see one movie I want to see that she doesn't. It was going to be Serenity, but after suffering through that travesty of justice, I feel that she no longer deserves Space Pirate Cowboy Opera in the style of Joss Whedon, and am thinking of dragging her to see Land of the Dead. Because zombies are frickin' awesome, and also Serenity isn't out for ages yet.
And now, I go to watch The Importance of Being Earnest and Chocolat. Feel the Judi Dench love! |
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[May. 25th, 2005|11:20 pm] |
*gigglesnort*
Watched the alternate cuts of Comes a Horseman and Revelation 6:8 with Alan and Jessica. And wackiness, as the saying goes, ensues...
[Flashback with Duncan and "Melvin" in Mexico/Wild West/some place with hats]
Duncan: Either way, Koren. On your feet or on your back.
Alan: Damn you, Duncan MacLeod. Kronos is not that kind of Immortal!
[Scene with Roman!Kronos and Roman!Methos and the WELL OF DOOM]
Jessica: Honestly, talk about your over-reaction. Doesn't anyone do the "we can still be friends" thing anymore?
Froodle: And here I thought Buffy and Angel had a monopoly on angsty, over-dramatic breakups. Although, in fairness, there is something about Kronos that screams "stalker ex".
Alan: Wouldn't that make them more Spike and Drusilla than Buffy and Angel, then?
Froodle: Or possibly Angel and Darla, but that's kind of mean to Kronos.
Jessica: Plus, I can see Kronos and Spike having similar styles, but not so much Kronos and Darla.
Alan: ...are you imagining Kronos dressed as a Catholic schoolgirl?
Jessica: ...little bit.
Froodle: I'm imagining Methos in one of Dru's floor-length slinky Goth dresses, holding a puppy called "Miss Sunshine".
Jessica: I think if Kronos was going to dress like a Buffy character, he'd be Faith. Or Vampire Willow.
Froodle: So... basically he'd be the same as he is now, only with bigger boobies?
Jessica: And better hair.
Kronos doing that little girl's voice was... disturbing on a level I never knew existed. Also, how retarded was that monk? "Oh hey, my boss-monk just told me there's a demon trapped in that well, and now it sounds like there's a child in there. I'd better go rescue it! It's not like demons are notorious decievers or anything!" Dumbass. And how come a weedy little monk can smash open that grating in like, two seconds, but Kronos has been down there thousands of years and never managed to escape? You fail at Well Escaping, Kronos.
Also, one line that should never, ever have been cut, because it proves beyond doubt that there is a God and he loves me: "I think you've gone soft, brother. You're not used to pain. Back then you would have jumped right up, asking for more."
In other news, saw the new Star Wars film today. ( Cut for spoilers, and also to spare those of you who can't bear to hear me rage against 'special needs' kids )
And finally, while the Phantom of the Opera is cool, he needs to take some lessons in dramatic entrances. Preferably from Angel, because that scene in Masquerade would have been vastly improved with a little door-smashery. |
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[May. 11th, 2005|11:22 pm] |
Today I fell off the Highlander bandwagon. Or got back on it. Whichever one means that you start doing something you thought you'd stopped doing.
Anyway...
I have to ask myself, why did Ahriman choose to appear as Kronos? I mean, Horton, sure; hell, I just have to hear that guy's voice and I get the urge to go out and do some stabbin'. And Richie, well, twisting the knife is what being evil is all about, isn't it?
But Kronos? As much as I hate to admit it, Duncan completely owned him. I mean, really, Ahriman will be all, "Rarr, I am Kronos!" and Duncan would be like, "Oh noes, not that guy whose ass I totally kicked and whose boyfriend I stole!" and Kronos would be like, "*sob* Too mean!"
Except probably not that last bit.
I guess there's the whole prior history thing, but come on. When Duncan first met him, Kronos was calling himself "Melvin". I don't care how many brutal murders he's committed, you just can't respect a man called Melvin. You'd think after thousands of years of unspeakable evil, Kronos would be able to come up with a cooler name than that, but no. "Melvin".
And even if Kronos was scary rather than just scarily hot, why Horseman!Kronos? Bearing in mind that Duncan has never seen Kronos in his Horseman incarnation, what exactly was the significance? Unless maybe Duncan has a secret phobia of 80's hairbands - and let's face it, what reasonable human being isn't slightly creeped out by 80's hairbands? - or Ahriman was trying to use the indescribable sexiness of Horseman!Kronos to distract him long enough to kick him in the nuts. Which would totally have worked on me, except for the part where I don't have nuts to kick.
And also, WTFWESLEYWHYAREYOUINHIGHLANDER?! And he made the Immortal who looked like a taller clone of Pippin sad, so extra hatred for him. God Wesley, you just ruin everything. What a dick. |
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[May. 4th, 2005|11:59 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | alan&jess, angel, buffy, david boreanaz, david wenham, ewan mcgregor, gerard butler, heath ledger, hugh jackman, johnny depp, joss whedon, moulin rouge, orlando bloom, phantom of the opera, poto, the dave, van helsing | ] |
I have come to the conclusion that Van Helsing, Moulin Rouge and Phantom of the Opera do not mix, for the following reasons:
- Gerard Butlers singing is only just tolerable as it is, without being compared to the greatness that is Ewan McGregor.
- Carlimir as a querulous transvestite is acceptable and for those of us who've seen the London Assignment, actually quite in-character, but Dracula as the Duke is all shades of wrong and leads to speculation about the effectiveness of Dracula singing "Like a Virgin" to Van Helsing versus, say, turning into a big fucking bat-monster. Personally, I found the singing way, way creepier, and I bet Van Helsing would have too.
- On a related note, "Big Fat Virgin King". Try explaining that one to your friends in the throes of a massive giggling fit.
- There's always someone who suggests Ewan McGregor should play Raoul, and that confuses me and makes me unsure whose side I should be on. This is unacceptable.
- Eventually this leads to debates about whether Erik, Van Helsing or Christian would win in a fight. This in turn leads to arguing about whether Gerard Butler, Hugh Jackman or Ewan McGregor would win in a fight. Ewan McGregor loses both times, and that makes me feel bad for him.
- Anna is even more annoying than usual when compared with Christine and Satine.
In other news, today Alan tried to convince me that my entire life was just a dream, like in that one episode of Buffy:
Froodle: Well for a start, if the whole world was just my dream, it certainly wouldn't include Fat!Xander, Andrew or Spike's Initiative clone. In fact, it would mostly involve naked David Boreanaz. [pauses] And Gerard Butler, he can be in there too.
Jessica: I don't see them working as a couple. I mean, David Boreanaz is pretty much already the American equivilent of Gerard Butler.
Froodle: I see what you mean. Too mmuch sitting around talking about socks and birds, not nearly enough sexin'.
Jessica: Now, Gerard Butler and Johnny Depp, I kind of see that...
Alan: But won't Orlando Bloom be jealous?
Froodle: I'd want to see it just for the catfight between Gerard Butler and Orlando Bloom. And for the hot man-on-man action, of course. But mostly because Orlando Bloom would get bitchslapped.
Jessica: And then Heath Ledger could comfort him.
Froodle: There is absolutely no downside to this plan. I think we should insist that Gerard Butler and Johnny Depp have sex right away.
Alan: Yeah, why don't you write to them and tell them that?
Froodle: Don't think I won't! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2005|08:46 pm] |
Today I made the worlds most delicious roast potatoes. Seriously, I doubt God Himself could have created a more delicious roast potato than mine. In fact, if I die at some point in the near future, you can all rest assured that I've been carried off in a column of golden light, to prepare perfect, crispy-skinned, fluffy-fleshed roast potatoes for the Heavenly Host.
Pity about the rest of the meal, really...
In other news, having spent the day sorting through my collection of unmarked DVD+Rs, it turns out I have amassed about six hours of Scrubs from various seasons. Ohh, Doctor Cox. *hearteyes* So that was fun. Also a few episodes from Angel s5 - awww, how adorably slashy are Spike and Angel? It's practically canon, I tell you. |
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[Apr. 26th, 2005|11:23 am] |
Tch, Duncan is such a jackass. I can't believe he broke up with Methos over something as petty as a handful of massacres that happened over three thousand years ago! Stupid Duncan.
Maybe it's because I was spoilt by seeing Angelus at a tender age, but Dark Quickening!Duncan and Horseman!Methos do absolutely nothing for me. With Methos, I was busy laughing at his hair and his silly mask, and Dark Quickening!Duncan is just... boring. Seriously, I'm there watching him being all snarly and attitudinal, and I'm rolling my eyes and wondering if Methos will show up soon. Even during the part where he attacks Richie, it's like part of me was thinking "I know I should find this hot, but in fact I'm watching Thlayli play with his cardboard cheese and being much more entertained by that." Although I did like the scene where Duncan phones Sean Burns and he's talking in his Dark Quickening!Duncan voice, and Sean's like, "Hello?" and Adrian Paul's face kinda drops and he says "Sean?" in this tiny, hurt voice and I was like, "Oh noes, FIGHT TEH EBIL, DUNCAN!" But then it got boring again. |
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[Apr. 12th, 2005|06:00 pm] |
Guess who is the jammiest of jammy cows? Yup, that would be me.
So today, I finally gave up the illusion of having a mobile phone that isn't a complete piece of poo, and faced the long march down to the Link to buy a new one. £80, wasted! I hate Samsung. And 02. And mobile phones in general and my reliance on mine in particular. Blah-blah, phones, blah.
Mission of wasting money on crap I need but do not want over, I opt to complete a much more exciting mission of wasting money on crap I want but do not need, starting with a DVD version of Usual Suspects, moving on to an incredibly flouncy tulle skirt with black and purple lace (Yay!), stopping by the petshop to pick up Thlaylisnacks and gaze in adoration at the new black Lionhead bunny they have in (so cute! I very nearly bought him, but I couldn't carry my flouncy skirt and a box full o' Bunneh), being foiled in my attempts to find an Angel puppet in every comic/merchandise related store in Leeds (boo!) and finally, Finally, hitting up the charity shops in search of shiny new reading material.
And there, sitting innocently on the shelves among Clive Barker paperbacks and dog-earred Mills and Boons, is Susan Kay's Phantom for 95p.
Today has been a good day. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 9th, 2005|12:43 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | angel, anthony stewart head, buffy, colin farrel, family von froodle, highlander, hunchback of notre dame, jason issacs, kingdom hospital, phantom of the opera, poto, quasimodo, stargate | ] |
Jason Isaacs, Anthony Stewart Head and that guy who played Daniel on Stargate SG-1 have all made appearances on Highlander, along with the guy who was Ray in Sister Sister (shut up, okay?) and the woman who was Lona Massingale in Kingdom Hospital. I have whiplash from so many double-takes.
Called Johnny today (mostly to gloat, I confess) and was amazed at some of the random things he remembers. Like Darius. I'd completely forgotten Darius, though according to Johnathan I cried when he died:
Froodle: Are you sure you're not thinking of the time Tessa died?
Johnny: One of them's a blonde French woman, the other's a Catholic German monk. I think I'd remember.
Froodle: Well I don't. Weird, huh? I'm just upset he didn't turn out to be the Darius of Guagamela fame.
Johnny: Are you kidding? If he had been, you would have spent all the time he was onscreen being like, "Nyah-nyah, Colin Farrell kicked your arse!"
Froodle: No I... okay, yeah I would.
Johnny: So who do you think would win, Duncan or Colin Farrell?
Froodle: Is Colin Farrell an Immortal?
Johnny: Yes.
Froodle: *thinks* No, I reckon Duncan would still win.
Johnny: Yeah. But what about Angel and Duncan?
Froodle: Why would they fight in the first place? They'd probably go off to have a quiet drink and angst about their lost loves and annoying sidekicks together. Angelus, on the other hand...
Johnny: That wouldn't even be a contest. Duncan would be all, "Holy ground! Safe!" and Angelus would be like, "Decapitation!"
Froodle: Hee! Oh, oh, do you remember that episode with the Immortal that lived under the Paris Opera House?
Johnny: What like, Highlander meets Phantom of the Opera? Now there's a mindboggling concept.
Froodle: Well, he was more Quasimodo than Erik. What with the shambling and the not being a crazed psychotic killer.
Johnny: I think I do - there was a whole thing with wildflowers and that black woman with crazy earrings?
Froodle: Aye, that's the one.
Johnny: Oooh, it's like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and the Phantom of the Opera had a baby. I wonder which of them got pregnant.
Froodle: ...could you not say that Ever again?
Johnny: Heehee!
Froodle: Urgh! Moving swiftly on, d'you reckon Duncan or Erik would win in a fight?
Johnny: Is he pregnant?
Froodle: AUGH SHUT UP WHY!
Johnny: Heeheehee! But, um, probably Erik, because he'd cheat and blow up the arena or something, and then cut off Duncan's head while he's still trying to find his missing arms.
Froodle: Yeah, Erik's a sneaky bastard.
Johnny: Plus, you know, he lost to Raoul in a fair fight, so clearly Duncan could kick his arse in a straight-up sword match.
Froodle: I bet he could beat Richie, though.
Johnny: Oh man, now I want to see Richie and Raoul duke it out.
Froodle: Battle of the shitty hair!
Johnny: Richie gets a five-point penalty for being ginger.
Froodle: Hahah, gutted!
Johnny: Okay, okay, final thing: Angelus vs Erik.
Froodle: Angelus. He's like, master of the psychological torment.
Johnny: Man, Erik just sucks all over the place today.
Froodle: Well, at least he beat Richie. And Angelus is impossible to beat unless you're Buffy.
Johnny: What if Erik dressed up as Buffy?
Froodle: Angelus has a nervous breakdown at the horror of it all, and Erik puts a stake through his heart while he's screaming and clawing at his own eyes.
Johnny: The wardrobe of Buffy is a powerful weapon.
Froodle: Deadly, in the wrong hands.
I love my crazy brother. |
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[Apr. 3rd, 2005|08:55 pm] |
Still watching Firefly.
You know, I was all set to hate River. I mean, first of all she's played by Summer Glau, and while I have nothing against her generally, she was in that really stupid episode of Angel with the ballet and the lovetriangle of Extreme Dullness, and is thus tainted by association. Secondly, as I believe I've already mentioned, we already Did the whole crazy-but-super-smart-girl thing with Fred, and I'm not even going to start about how much I hate Fred because I'll be here all night.
So, guess who cried like a bitch during "Safe" and "Ariel"?
Yeah, that would be me.
I was welling up during the scene in Safe where she comes across the villagers dancing and joins in. She's twirling and smiling and she looks so graceful and happy, and Simon's watching her, and it's really the first time you get a glimpse of what she must have been like before the Academy, and what Simon must see every time he looks at her. And then later on at the settlement, during the conversation where she tells Simon "You gave up everything you had to find me, and you found me broken. You think I don't understand, but I do," and insists that she'll get better, my heart was breaking for both of them. And finally, the scene where the hillfolk are going to burn her at the stake, and Simon climbs up onto the pyre, puts his arms around her and says "Light it", I actually started to cry.
Watching Simon inject her at the start of Ariel was fairly heart-rending, but worse was the scene inside the imaging suite, where Simon finally discovers what was done to her in the Academy, and his voice sounds like it's about to crack as he describes it to Jayne. Also that last scene where he asks her if she knows what the injection is for, and she says it's time to go to sleep, and he says "No, Mei-Mei. It's time to wake up" and she gives him this wan smile, and I burst into tears.
I'm such a damn wuss.
Comedic moments included Mal's defeat of the utterly detestable Averton Wing ("Mercy is the mark of a great man. *stab* I guess I'm just a good man. *stab* Well, I'm alright."); Jayne mock-reading Simon's diary ("Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. *turns page* Today we were kidnapped by hillfolk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever!") and Badger's impromptu tea party ("The secret is wood alcohol."). Also, was I the only one suprised that Jayne would know a word like "pretentious"? I'm just sayin'.
Also, Mal totally didn't know that Jayne tipped off the Feds on Ariel. He was just mad because Simon was making puppy-dog eyes at someone who wasn't him. Because seriously, Simon was about three seconds away from jumping Jayne right there in the cargo bay. "He was amazing, I can't even begin to tell you..." Bless. I really wanted him to give Simon a tattoo. Or at least draw a moustache on him or something.
Jaynestown is the absolute highlight of the series. The Ballad of Jayne, Simon's drunken ramblings ("To Jayne, the box-dropping man-ape-gone-wrong thing!") and... okay actually, just any scene involving Simon or Jayne. They're adorable all the way through that episode. "I mighta made me a few enemies..."/"You? No! How can that be?!" Heh.
Am begining to think that Mutant Enemy has some kind of deal going on where they collect the villians that Keifer has already defeated on 24. So far, I've spotted one creepy blue-gloved bloke, one Mudder who gets shot in the chest and one corpse-hunting leather coat-wearing guy who gets his jollies by setting people on fire. Not that I'm judging because hey, who doesn't?
And finally, can we have a big "No Need!" for the thingie that makes peoples brains explode through their eyes and nostrils? Because seriously, Ew. That was actually more frightening than the Reavers, and they unnerved me to the point where I had to have the hall light on for a couple of nights. *shivers* |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|08:55 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | alan&jess, angel, buffy, colin farrel, colin firth, firefly, gerard butler, heath ledger, highlander, joss whedon, knights tale, robespierre is a dude, scarlet pimpernel, shooters, teen angel | ] |
*grumble*
My Highlander DVDs are still not here. Where are you, Highlander DVDs?! I need my Duncan fix. Also, I thoroughly plan on lending them to Alan, thus indirectly forcing Jessica to watch them and getting revenge for the time she made me watch an hour-long special of Emmerdale. As Robespierre would say, "Mwaha."
On the other hand, do have shiny Firefly and Shooters to edutain myself with in the meantime. Jess immediately zeroed in on Shooters:
Jessica: Isn't this that film with Gerry Butler in nothing but a towel?
Froodle: *shamefaced* Yes...
Jessica: You are so sad.
Froodle: ...wait a minute, how did You know about the towel? I never mentioned it to you.
Jessica: Err...
Froodle: *triumphant "A-ha!" pose of denouncementification* Ha! You've watched it too!
Jessica: It's your fault! You're a bad influence!
Froodle: Hey, I actually like British gangster films. That makes you waaaay more sad than me. Also you're totally cheating on Colin Firth.
Jessica: *snooty sniff* It was a moment of weakness. It means nothing!
Froodle: Colin Firth hates you now.
Jessica: Are you going to put it on or not?
Froodle: Ooh, I don't think I should encourage you to go down this slippery path.
Alan: Yeah, she might turn into you.
Froodle: Well, I never!
In the end we watched the first few episodes of Firefly instead. Reactions can be summerized thusly:
( Read more... ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|01:53 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | angel, buffy, charioteer, colin farrel, firefly, get backers, joss whedon, mary renault, poor ickle lindsey, thlayli, wolf's rain | ] |
I'm never going on rabbit.org again. Last night, Anne-Marie and I were eating my (delicious) curry and discussing the amazingness of Colin Farrell when, halfway through a sentance I look over at Thlayli to find him lying on his side, motionless, and for a brief moment convince myself he's gone into stasis and is dying. I rush to his side, panic filling me like some off-colour joke involving ass-sex... and he wakes up, gives me the filthiest look in the history of human-rabbit interaction, and hops into his wooden lodge to continue dreaming his bunny dreams. This leads me to the conclusion that I would make a terrible mother. Not because I'm lazy, selfish, short-tempered and prone to unpredictable mood swings, although all of those are true. Not even because I hate children and think their proper role is the main course in a Sunday roast (mmm-mm, crispy). But because I would be one of those awful parents who talks about their goddamn cuntprize nonstop and thinks it has lukemia every time it sneezes.
In other news, Monday was a day of Strange Coincidences for Froodles. See, back when I was but a young Froodlet, fresh out of highschool and attending my Very First Anime Convention Ever, I met a yaoifiend by the name of Genevieve. Many years passed, I came to university and Southampton seemed an indecently long way to travel just to watch Card Captor Sakura subs. We lost touch.
Fastforward to modern-day. The Froodle sits in Borders, reading The Charioteer (excellent book, recommend to all Mary Renault fans and... pretty much everyone ever, actually) and waiting for a friend to show up. Said friend being something of an idiot, fails to realise the clocks have gone forward and shows up an hour late. We drink coffee, I mock him, he criticises Wolf's Rain, I use the phrase "Bondage Wolf" in public, the usual. Time marches on, and soon we go our seperate ways. I'm walking home, debating whether to grab a sandwich to eat later or simply order takeout, when I see a strangely familar figure coming towards me.
Yeah, it's Genevieve. Turns out her job relocated up here about a month ago. We went for coffee and then she cooked me dinner and we watched Get Backers and I designed a silly character on City of Heroes (she wouldn't let me call him Sneaky McGrue, though apparently Hooded Laser is acceptable). How weird and cool is that?
Now, I think I'm going to go and watch Firefly and try and figure out how Simon manages to be so adorable while at the same time being the lovechild of Lindsey and Early!Wesley. Initial suspicions point to his waistcoats emitting some kind of "ravish me please" vibe. To quote Kaylee, "You just wanna take a bite of him all over." |
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[Nov. 22nd, 2004|05:14 pm] |
You know who could have totally kicked Isildur's ass? Angel. Think about it. Angel eclipses him in both the hand-chopping and ring-destroying arenas. And if he did fall under the lure of the Ring's eeeevvvilll powers, hey, we get Angelus. Everybody wins.
You suck, Isildur. Get in the Reject Bin. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 16th, 2004|10:53 pm] |
Jess's birthday. Went to see Sky Captain, which was pretty good, although I did keep imagining Pip from Hellsing whenever Jude Law was on screen, which probably helped a lot.
The robot assassin with Darth Maulish qualities reminded me of Jheira from that episode of Angel where Angel does the Angeldance at the start and the end. Or "She", as it is sometimes known. Wonder if it was the same person.
Period cramps kicked in halfway through movie, so was forced to forgo trip to James's unbelievably stuck-up gym in fucking Bradford afterwards. Shame. Still, I thought "I have period cramp and I want to go home and lie on my bed with a hot water bottle and listen to Art Garfunkel" was much more diplomatic than "You're being so fucking annoying that if I don't leave right now, I'm likely to kick you in the nuts so hard, you'll be swallowing with three Adams apples." So props to me, and to John Connelly, who I totally stole that line from.
Also, general rule: don't ever give me advice on dealing with period pain. There's a very real possibility that I'll uncurl from my huddled ball of agony on the floor long enough to castrate you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2004|09:18 pm] |
Very disturbing conversation with Johnathan last night. Talking about the movie version of John Connolly's "Bad Men":
F: So, who do you think they'll cast as the giant policeman?
J: Tom Hanks.
F: Why?!
J: Because people always cast Tom Hanks in movies I want to see, just to spite me.
F: Fucking Holywood.
J: At least it's not a Charlie Parker movie. They'd probably cast Tom Hanks as Bird.
F: Eww! Never say that again.
J: And Mr T as Louis.
F: I'll cut you!
J: Heh.
F: Idris Elba* would be good as Louis. Providing he could to the accent.
J: They could get Christian Kane to do the voice-over.
F: He's from Louisiana, not fucking Texas!
J: True. Plus we need Christian Kane to play Angel.
F: *disgusted noise*
J: What? He's short, white, has curly hair and pouty lips. He's perfect.
F: Angel doesn't have pouty lips.
J: I always imagined him with pouty lips.
F: You ruin my life.
J: I know.
F: Can you imagine how weird it would be to have Lindsey playing a character called Angel? It breaks my mind.
J: We could get David Boreanaz to play Louis. With facepaint.
F: I hate you so bad.
J: *evil laugh*
My brother is a sick, sick puppy.
*Idris Elba = Vaughan Rice in "Ultraviolet". |
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[Aug. 11th, 2004|06:21 pm] |
Many random pieces of information today:
1) The bloke that played Gavin (annoying lawyer type who had the audacity to try and replace Lindsey and got turned into a zombie for his trouble) in Angel was in Spiderman 2. Only for like, a second, but it made me say "Hey, that's Gavin!" And nobody else knew who he was and it was like Penn being in SWAT all over again and I felt sad.
2) Speaking of ickle Lindsey, check out the latest KANE newsletter:
From: KaneTeamers@aol.com
KANE are back playing another show at 1650 CLUB in Hollywood!
This time we're reteaming with Shooter Jennings. Hide the Jack Daniels and lock in your daughters. It's gonna be a wild one...
Thursday, August 19th, 2004
9:00pm Pen 15 Club
10:00pm KANE
11:00pm SHOOTER JENNINGS BAND
all at: 1650 Club (formerly Vinyl)
1650 N. Schrader @ Hollywood Blvd
Hollywood, CA.
$10.00
age 21+ only please (sorry)
also... we are considering taking the band to the UK for a few shows the first week of November. Please drop us a line if you would be interested in seeing us there. Nothing fancy... just let us know you would come out.
What are you waiting for? Fucking email them!
3) Totally unrelated, and probably quite old news to most people who would actually care, but it seems Blaise Zabini, the "missing Slytherin", has an official gender. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 9th, 2004|09:15 pm] |
It's been rainy and cold all day here. Am in much better mood as a result. Also have Lost Boys soundtrack - aaah, 80's goodness. To celebrate, recs:
Senkobunny writes some mighty fine Hellsing slash, both Jan/Luke and Alucard/Luke. Go. Read.
Melrose Naboo has been around for years, and inactive (alas) since 2001. However, it remains the funniest Star Wars site I have ever seen.
I urge everyone to read The Adventures of Puppy Boy and Pointy Face. Genius. Then go back and read all of Domestic Piranhas.
Like "Kim Possible"? Like Kim Possible slash? Then check out the LJ of therealmoebius. Now with Mystical Monkey Lovin'!
Also, today is the birthday of Moomin creator Tove Jansson. Thus, this day shall henceforth be known as Tove Jansson Day. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2004|06:39 pm] |
And, as promised earlier, the teachings of Froodle:
Stupid Irish jewellery, uses of:
This, by the way, is all the Miriglum's fault, for texting me during the early hours to say that, in Buffy's place, she wouldn't be so quick to discard rings with the power to make naked Angel fall from the ceiling. This naturally lead to a conversation about where such magical Angel-summoning rings could be aquired, but in the end we were forced to abandon the idea due to my conviction that such actions would lead to the summoning of Fat!Xander and my untimely and very painful death.
The moral of this story is that you should never, ever wear stupid Irish jewellery, or you might get crushed to death by Fat!Xander falling on you from a great height.
I think I just found the perfect gift idea for Hex's birthday.
Wesley's spine-collecting activities:
Cast your minds back to the halcyon days of Angel S2. It was a golden age, full of snarkiness, Barry Manilow and Angel's please-don't-seduce-me face. And Steve, of course.
But more importantly, this was the point at which Wesley went from annoying git who had the audacity to replace Doyle, to a character who (until replaced by the Robowes in season 3) was likable, amusing and possessed of an actual backbone.
Where did this backbone come from, you ask? Well, the only possible answer is that Wesley stole it from someone else. Who this first victim was is unknown, but it seems likely that this was merely the begining in a long career of spine-stealery, later continued by the Robowes.
Certainly by "That Old Gang Of Mine", Wesley was sporting a shiny new spine, as demonstrated by his speech to Gunn at the end of the episode. But secretly, his misappropraited spine had been in place long before this: sending the rebels off to die in Pylea, and telling Meanie!Angel to get out during the whole Darla fiasco, not to mention his (hilarious) Angel impersonation in "Guise Will Be Guise" - although that could have been The Coat controlling him, in much the same way Gravitation's Hatre is controlled by his Hat.
Alas, one spine was not enough, and Wesley soon began a downward spiral of spine-stealage. While Gunn's sudden change in attitude in season 3 could have been due to Fred's personality-sucking influence, it could also have been the work of that master spine-stealer, Wesley. Kidnapping Baby!Connor under the pretense of the doomful prophecy was also clearly Robowes attempting to steal his spine without Angel noticing (though anyone who falls for the Evil Hand line is obviously too dense to notice his son's new-found spinelessness, and is yet another example of the Robowes malfunctioning).
The Robowes continued this legacy until the very end, and, late in season five, took on an apprentice in the form of Illyria, as evidenced by her "I will make trophies of their spines!" line in "Not Fade Away". You may think it was just Blue!Fred's usual posturing, but in fact, these spines were intended as a peace offering to the Robowes.
Angelus Concentrate
With the recent announcement of an exclusive, limited edition Faith collectable plate being released to compliment the forthcoming Angel collectable plate series, I have reached the conclusion that the Angel Merchandising Fools are planning to release a whole range of kitchenware and foodstuffs, turning Angel into something akin to the Hello Kitty franchise.
With this in mind, we bring you: Angelus Tabasco Sauce.
Yes, that's right, sprinkle neat over salads or pizza for a full-on Angelus experiance, or dilute with soul and tomatoes for a truly Angelic pasta dish.
Because frankly, the sort of people who make Wesley collectable plates will stop at nothing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2004|04:39 pm] |
Every now and then, you read a news article that makes you feel all warm inside. Like this story about a couple in Florida being pepper sprayed for having a mobile phone conversation in a cinema.
Personally, I would have taken the taser-to-the-spine route demonstrated by Fred and Connor in the third season of Angel, but then, I'm easily influenced.
The point is, people who answer their phones in movies deserve to be in a lot of pain very quickly. Because that's funny.
As a general rule, pepper spraying anyone with a name like "Warronnica" or " Terrell" is also acceptable behaviour, as is killing their parents. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 25th, 2004|08:31 pm] |
According to the Forbidden Planet newsletter, next month sees the release of limited edition collectable Angel plates. The first series features Angel, Cordy, Wes and Gunn.
Yeah, you heard. Collectable. Fucking. Plates.
Now I freely admit to being a merchandise whore, but the idea of eating my tea off Wesley's face is wrong on more levels than I can count. And I wish I hadn't thought that.
Why are there collectable plates? Why are the Angel merchandising people wasting precious time and resources on kitchen ware when they should be working on mass producing an Angel puppet? What is wrong with the universe?!
For future reference, what I really want to see is a line of Angel plushies, similar to the Kenshin ones that had Kenshin with several different facial expressions and outfits. It'd be great - they could have two Angelus dolls, one of the bad old days with the fluffy hair and the frockcoat, and one of the Sunnydale Angelus with a silk shirt and leather pants. And the smexy smirk of evility, of course. And then you have grumpy!Angel, with the scowl and the all-black; corporate!Angel with the Wolfram and Hart suits; wacky disguise!Angel with silly hat and Miami Vice shirt and socially awkward!Angel with the guilt-induced white sweater and his "please don't seduce me!" face.
Of course, all clothes shall be interchangable, because everyone wants to see Angelus in a wacky disguise. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2004|11:52 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | angel, angel is not fat, billy boyd is old, boy-molesting, fake, fucking bugs, moomins, patrick o'brien, poor ickle lindsey, snufkin, stephen maturin, the angelus brogue, tom pullings | ] |
The following things are true:
Vests were not invented in 1812.
Lindsey has an Angelus-like evil alter-ego. Fortunatly, he only comes out to play if Angel ever returns Lindsey's feelings, which we all know is less likely than James Marsters appearing on television ever again.
Billy Boyd is at least 80 years old.
Angel is not fat.
At least one of my brothers is evil.
David Boreanaz is a strange, strange man.
The comparisons between Saiyuki and Angel the Series are spurious at best.
Sanzo and Angelus have nothing in common. Angelus (as far as I know) doesn't wear bondage gear under priest's robes. Also, Sanzo is a lot grumpier, doesn't speak in an evil Irish brogue and the chances of him having a nun fetish are fairly low.
I am, however, willing to buy the Kougaji/Lindsey and Gojyo/Spike connection. Though Kougaji is too tall to make a good Lindsey.
Lindsey is the Tom Pullings of the Angelverse.
FAKE 7 has an adult rating for a very good reason. It should also probably not be read in one's local Starbucks, due to the risk of shock-induced choking.
Angel's power resides not in his puppy-dog eyes, pointy hair or socially retardedness, but in his white vest.
Everybody loves young boys in kitty ears.
Stephen Maturin is the Hemulen from the Moomins.
Snufkin is all.
I hate moths. |
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[Jul. 22nd, 2004|07:16 pm] |
Nearing the end of season four now, and can I just say:
Angelus. Does he bring the funny or what?
"You mean killing the Beast really does bring back the sun? I thought that was just Angel's retarded fantasy." Love his gleeful face when he kills the Beast and is all "I knew it! Damn, I am so cool!" Okay, maybe he didn't say that last part, but I did, watching him.
Not to mention, being forced to relive Angel rescuing that puppy in 'Orpheus' and being laughed at by Faith; his impersonation of Angel when evil!Cordy cast the resouling that wasn't, and that whole scene where he tells Gunn that he knows what happened with Fred's old professor.
Evil!Cordy implying that Angelus is smarter than Angel amused me (poor insulted Angel!). 'Spin the Bottle' is always hilarious - gotta love 17 year old Liam ("You stopped the tiny men from singing!"), and the rerun of Cordy's classic "Hello, salty goodness" line, as well as "I never touched her, I swear!"/"So clearly, deviant!" I miss that Cordy. Plus bonus points for use of the word "homo-erotic".
Faith is as cool as ever, and Willow and Wesley's little Dark-off made me smile. Liked the whole "I'm seeing someone" bit between Willow and Fred (though as much as I hate Fred, she's infinately less annoying than Kennedy. Clearly Willow is still a little bit evil).
Also deserving of a mention is Lorne's scene with Evil!Cordy and the magic 8 ball: "Has Cordy been a bad, bad girl?"/"Definately.". Makes me laugh every time.
Skip is evil?! Oh no! Cried when Angel realised he had to kill Cordy to prevent Connor's evil doomchild from being born, despite actually knowing that it wasn't going to happen. Poor Angel. He really can't catch a break, can he?
Also, Gunn and Electro-Gwen. Didn't see that coming. Still prefer Rogue when it comes to untouchable and gorgeous women. Think it's the Southern accent.
Connor and Angel singing Manilow together = genius. The face of the guy Fred goes to see in the hospital still freaks me out. The Jasmaniacs are creepy as hell.
All in all, this season seems a lot better than I remember it being, though I still think Gunn was dead-on when he described it as a "turgid supernatural soap-opera". Could have used a few funny, light-hearted stand-alone episodes along the lines of "Dead End".
I'm going to miss Angelus's nun fixation. |
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[Jul. 19th, 2004|10:53 pm] |
An interesting bit of Van Helsing-related news here. Personally I prefer Van Helsing/Carlimir to Van Helsing/Dracula, but never mind.
In Angel-related news, have just seen the episode where Holtz takes baby Connor dimension-hopping. Thank God. Also, Angel trying to smother Wesley with a pillow is hilarious. Just can't take David Boreanaz seriously at all in that scene.
Still hate Fred.
Am also wondering if it was intentional that the creepy little girl Angel and Lilah meet in the White Room looks like a younger version of Eve. |
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[Jul. 17th, 2004|04:22 pm] |
Just started watching the third season of Angel, and am starting to understand why it's been gathering dust for the last year:
Connor.
Specifically, baby!Connor. I hate babies. I hate the way adults act around babies. I hate it when babies cry. I hate pretty much everything baby-related.
Generally speaking, spent most of the post-birth episodes wishing Darla was still around so that she could snap the little shit's neck. And bitchslap some sense into the cooing, gibbering morons who appear to have replaced Team Angel.
Honestly, who thought it was a good idea to bring a baby into the show?
Also, I still hate Fred. "Personally, I don't care at all," shut up Fred!.
On the plus side, 'Birthday' is still brilliant (I love 'Cordy'), the scenes with Cordy and Lilah in 'Billy' are fantastic (Poor Wes, though!) and Carpe Noctum is equal parts disturbing and hilarious:
Marcus-as-Angel: So I'm a... *looks down at his outfit* Obviously.
Poor Angel. Even old men who steal his body think he's gay.
Also: Angel in leather pants. Always good. |
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[Jul. 13th, 2004|05:12 pm] |
This was too good to keep to myself...
Messeurs Amy the wench, Izzy-chan and Miriglum present, for your amusement and pleasure:
The Angel vs vampire slayers handbags at dawn death-match
(although, technically, since vampires are *already* dead... )
It is important, though, we feel, to discuss a little why this game came about, and to apologise profusely for said incident of egotism and boredom. Chances are, you are a freind/stalkee of one of us three culprits. Thus you will know the pain of befreinding a fangirl. A deep and lingering pain. But, in any case, due to diverse circumstances (Amy living in America, thus having nobody sensible to talk to, Izzy losing her job, and Miriglum no longer being able to watch Angel), and a long, rambling conversation when we all should have been in bed (apart from Amy, and her ghey whore of a time zone) on Yahoo! messenger, the Angel-rific deathmatch has come into existance. Basic premise is, like our minds, both simple and disturbing - to prove our love of Angel, we pitch him agaist a series of other fictional charcters, and stand back to marvel at his God-like victory/anniliation. And since we have suffered, so must you - and anyone failing to make even a token effort will be sent to live in Canada/never spoken to again. So there. Simply read each deathmatch entry, taking into account the wonderous opinions of our good selves. Feel free to add comments to the strength/weakness and notes sections, then fill in the last section, drawing up an outline of the deathmatch and its conclusion. Remember, not all deathmatches have to be fought to the death. We have learned well from Angel's guidance, battling the green and icky-looking demons in the RING OF DEATH. Send back the email when you've filled in the deathmatches you can (although, like, don't feel you have to have *watched* a show to stick your oar in), and we fair three will contabulate all into an amusing Angel-rific whole. With pictures. ~nods~ And if we're still at this into the New Year, 'cause too many people decided to be lazy, and not reply, so be it. And there will be nagging. Oh, yes. So, without further ado (and hearing the merry jingling of Joss Whedon's crack lawyer brigade approaching ever-closer), enjoy the strangeness that is:
Slayers vs Angel
Slayer: Buffy
Occupation: Vampire Slayer, the. Strumpet.
Weapons: Vast supplies of wooden pointy things.
Strengths: Past experiance dealing with pesky vamps. Only has to set foot in LA to make Angel do his smacked-puppy-prominent-eyebrow face.
Weaknesses: Spectacular failure to do away with the loveable but blundering Spike indicates possible unlikelyhood of managing to defeat Angel. Only has to set foot in LA to be thrown into squished Woe!-Buffy-is-tormented-by-vampiric-ex face.
Notes: Well, none of us having ever really watched Buffy in a big way, Buffy's stats are mainly made up by us, and any resemblance to any actual vampire slayers, living or dead, is purely coincidental
Outcome:
Slayer: Vampire Hunter D
Occupation: Vampire/demon hunting in swishy cape. A man after Angel's own heart.
Weapons: None of us can actually remember. Possibly a very, very large sword.
Strengths: Cool hat. Can fall off almost anything and survive. 2dimensional, so can slide into small places to hide.
Weaknesses: Lack of Angel's chirpy side-kicks. Back-talking hand. Tendency to look like Lawrence Lwelynn-Bloody-Bowen in model-form
Notes: Human, with vampire blood - i.e. ridiculous vampire uber-stregthness, without all that pesky catching fire in daylight melarky
Outcome:
Slayer: Van Helsing
Occupation: Head fighting-wench of the vatican. Left hand of God.
Weapons: Deadly spinning-tops of doom
Strengths: Again, swishy coat/hat combo. Cute side-kick-a-mir Monk, complete with array of deadly anti-vampiric/explodey weapons.
Miriglum: Also, wasn't that Princess-type love interest a gypsy? [Ethnic slur, all people from eastern europe are gypsies] Possibly precipitive of an 'Angel boldly runs away' sort of situation.
Amy the wench: But he's not very *keen* of gypsies, is he? I mean, surely he'd be wanting revenge
Miriglum: Yes, but he's rather attached to that soul of his, isn't he? Like - entire point of series.
Weaknesses: Limited attention span causes poor brooding skills.
Notes: Can turn into a werewolf - potentially useless, unless Angel is as secretly as bloody-uselessy-vunerable to werewolves as Dracula.
Miriglum: Did I mention, Sam West should *totally* take part in this deathmatch? He has his own ship, *and* a, like, a shipful of angry Narnians. That *has* to come in handy.
Outcome:
Slayer: Bram Stoker's Ghey Leage of People Who Don't Like Dracula (BSGLOPWDLD)
Occupation: Being Victorian. Being Ghey. Being homo-erotic.
Weapons: 'Dr Van Hellsing's old-school patent vampire-slaying kit'.
Large hammer, 1
Wooden stakes (classic finish), several
Garlic, 6 of whatever the internationally agreed units of garlic measurement might happen to be
Crafty coffin-opening device, 1
Silver crusifix, 2
Handy lawyer, for rifling personal papers, gaining entrance to private property and lying to coroners about sudden deaths of 90% of secondary charecters.
Large guns, for dispatching pesky gypsies, 5
Strengths: Numbers significantly in their favour, even with Angel's full complement of minions.
Miriglum: But then, didn't Angel still not have a soul, back in the day? Plus, he had Darla (deadly killing hair) and Drusila (crazy weasel). Also, let's say Spike (pretty but useless) too, 'cause he's all shiny. In which case, they'd have all been like - bite, bite, bite - ugh, Dr Van Hellsing tastes funny - bite. Yum.
Amy the wench: No, I'm sure he was in his 'useless roaming Angel' stage.
Weaknesses: Largly too busy being Fraudian and worriting over their latent sexuality to put togeather much of deadly killing front.
Notes: Considering it took them an entire book to kill Dracula, who was, frankly, quite useless, can't see they have much chance agaist the super Angel.
Outcome:
Disclaimer: let it be recorded, we Amy the wench and Miriglum, had no part in the creation of the following deathmatch, knowing it to be wrong and disturbing, and the work of a twisted mind...
Slayer(s): Merry and Pippin
Occupation: Hobbit slayers of middle-earth.
Amy the wench: Yep. 'Cause they were just *over-run*, weren't they?!
Weapons: The One True Ring and/or the Horn of Gondor
Strengths: Small and cute. Experiance of questing. Some singing talent.
Weaknesses: Handy, snack-size vampire treats. Limited experiance slaying actual vampires. Would have to stand on each other's shoulders to stake Angel through heart.
Notes: Matching waistcoats may provide crucial assistance.
Outcome: |
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[Jul. 12th, 2004|11:47 pm] |
I'm back!
Urgh, twelve days without the internet. Twelve. Sodding. Days.
Have spent most of it lying on the sofa in my kick-ass new apartment, watching Buffy and Angel for hours on end. Such goodness.
Had a good cry over Giles and Buffy's breakdown at the end of 'Passions' (as well as a good laugh over Giles taking a flaming baseball bat to Angelus's head). Nearly choked to death laughing at Angelus's 'facial hair thoughout the ages' flashbacks in 'Amends', not to mention the drunken irishness that is Liam. Had forgotten what it felt like to actually care about most of the characters in anything but a strictly 'God, I hope you die' sense. Also am amazed at the cuteness of Xander and how incredibly boring Angel was. No wonder I used to think he was such a prick.
Quotable quotes include:
Xander: I'm still key guy, right? Good. Then Angel, in his non-key-guy capacity, can work with me.
Angel: What fun.
Xander: Key guy's still talking!
Xander: I gotta say, I'm with Deadboy on this one.
Angel: Could you not call me that?
Pretty much the entire scene with Angelus, Darla and the Master in 'Darla'.
Angel: Stop calling me pastries.
Faith: [wombles on to Wesley about Angel not being mean and nasty enough for her liking] What if I killed you? Do you think that would work, or would it just be really funny?
Also, David Boreanaz haas huge hands. I mean really huge. My brother has pretty big hands, but his are nowhere near as big as Angel's sexy sexy hands.
I miss his hands. And the blipverts. And mocking Lindsey.
And how attractive Angel is when he's just been horribly beaten up, like in 'The Ring'.
And how every now and then, David Boreanaz will impress me with something other than the fact that he's a very pretty chunk of manflesh. My heart broke for him in those last few minutes of 'Hero', when he was screaming Doyle's name.
On a lighter note, the fuzzy felt Moomin dvds arrived today. Huzzah! Didn't get a chance to watch them, as Alan and Jess came over, bringing with them an Angel duvet and pillow set, which is possibly the best housewarming present EVER. |
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[Jun. 8th, 2004|11:04 pm] |
And on the third day of Hexmas, we celebrate Angel/Angelusday.
For in the United Kingdom on this day in 2004 did air the last ever episode of Angel. And Lo! There was a great weeping in the land, as though a thousand Fangirls were sobbing drunkenly over a bottle of cheap supermarket wine. Verily, we did experiance both malicious glee and heartbreaking sorrow during Lindsey's death scene, and shake our heads that Angel would demand such a thing of Lorne.
On this day, we say goodbye to the prettiest, broodiest, dorkiest, most socially awkward and downright lickable vampire with a soul to ever walk the Earth.
So long, Angel, and thanks for all the slash. |
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[Jun. 4th, 2004|07:04 pm] |
Aah, looks like Big Wolf on Campus will be back next week. Must have been screwy half-term scheduling. Goddamn Fox.
Also, neglected to mention last night, the guy that plays Stan Shunpike in PoA is the guy who played Hollom in Master and Commander. That amuses me.
What does not amuse me is the recent spate of Angel is Fat jokes I have been subjected to lately. Miriglum, Hex, Jonathan: knock it the fuck off, you bastards.
Poor fat Angel. Steve will always love you. |
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[Jun. 3rd, 2004|11:35 pm] |
Had my last exam today - went well until the final question, at which point I had a brief moment of insanity and told my imaginary client to "suck it up and stop goddamn whining". Which, now that I think about it, wasn't the smartest move I've ever made. If anyone asks, I'll blame the emotional trauma of Angel ending. Yep, that'll totally work.
Also saw Prisoner of Azkaban straight afterwards: could have used a lot more Malfoy, I think. Both of them, for preference. Like Draco's new hair, not keen on his new (super-girly) persona. Laughed at the 'bloody chicken' line. He's so squishy.
Was suprised by how much I like David Thwelis as Lupin, pleased that Gary Oldman lived up to my expectations as Sirius, gleefully enthusiastic about their on-screen chemistry together and slightly aroused by Lupin's transformation scene. Not to mention, extremely happy to see that the werewolfism as a metaphor for homosexuality came through intact. Sniff. Poor Lupin.
Scriptwise, there are some major flaws in the storytelling, to the point where an awful lot of stuff doesn't make sense unless you've read the books. The connection between the Marauder's map and Lupin, and the reason Harry's Patronus takes the form of a stag, not to mention almost the entire Animagus backstory is left out. Crookshanks has no significance. The part with Harry getting the Firebolt is different, but it fits and is acceptable.
Visually, the film is stunning, with absolutely superb set pieces. The CGI on Buckbeak is wonderful, though the Dementors are lacking in the scary department.
And for some reason, the music Lupin plays during the Bogart scene and when he leaves at the end is not on the soundtrack. Disrageous.
Oh, and Daniel Radcliffe still sucks. |
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[Jun. 2nd, 2004|10:59 pm] |
Those of you who watched Nip/Tuck may recall the episode with the child-molesting Catholic priest in. Those of you who watched it with me may recall my snort of laughter during the 'He raped boys!' scene of Over-Acted Emotion, but that's by the by. My point is, Father Rapes Boys is actually in the Pylean episodes of Angel - he's one of the rebal humans that Wesley sends to his death. It made me laugh.
Unlike 50's!Angel who made me cry with his side-parting and white vest. How long has he had that white vest? I bet Angelus would never have worn that. |
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[Jun. 1st, 2004|10:16 pm] |
Tonight in Angel: Angel is evil, except that he totally isn't. Not!Fred tries to convince Spike that Angel is cheating on him, but Spike's not having any of it. He's so loyal. Lindsey wants to hug someone. Anyone. His hair is still bad, so everyone refuses.
Speaking of bad hair, Gunn calls Drogan 'Aragorn'. I find that uncalled for, since Drogan seems pretty well up on personal hygiene to me. Still, it seems Drogan takes Gunn's words cruelly to heart, because next time we see him. he's shaved his head.
Also, Nina turns up and bores me to death. Sod off, Nina.
Wesley may or may not have been in this episode. Due to the pain of listening to him whine, I have now established a mental block on his existance during seasons four and five. |
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[May. 30th, 2004|11:22 pm] |
First and foremost, April's Tape Vault has all 65 episodes of Big Wolf on Campus on VHS for sale. $10 per tape plus shipping, payment through Paypal. Prepare not to hear from me for a few days once season 1 gets here. Woo!
Secondly, is there anything more depressing than introducing someone to a fandom dear to your heart, only to have them completely miss a major point? Well, there probably is, but it makes me pretty damn resentful. Crowley being black with no hair, honestly. Some people should have their fucking eyes put out if they're that stupid. Especially if they're 'bisexual Wiccans', and I use sarcastic quotemarks.
Thirdly, old-school Angel rocks. So, so much. And in view of the outcome of season 5, 'To Shanshu in LA' is an absolute heartbreaker. Poor, pretty Angel. Also Wesley. He became so annoying during the whole Fred-Gunn-Wesley love triangle of boringness, I'd all but forgotten how much I liked him during the latter half of season one, and all of season two.
Highlights thus far include:
"Can you fly?" Quite possibly Angel's coolest moment ever.
"I don't see Angel in tights... okay, now I do, and it's disturbing."
"Maybe I'm a little attracted." And there was a disturbance in the Force, as if a million Fangirls squee'd out at once.
"The good fight, yeah?" Sniff. Doyle.
"Low rats." Ha!
"Is that it? Am I done?" Again, 'Sniff. Doyle.'
"I don't need advice from some middle-class white dude that's dead." This is extra-funny because, when Gunn says this, Angel makes this little sad face that just screams 'Aw, I wanted to be a homie'. Heh, homie!Angel.
"Epiphanied off." Another wonderous Gunnism.
Gunn throwing that vampire into the foyer of WRH, and his 'evil white folks do have a Mecca' rant.
"I've seen you in bed," delivered to both Cordy and Wes. Watch Cordy's knowing smile when Gunn says this to Wesley. Funny 'cause it's true.
Angelus making a brief appearence in 'Eternity'. I love you, Angelus!
"Evil Angel never would have worn those pants."
Lindsey running Angel over in the Pickup Truck of Love, Or At Least Unrequited Lust.
Lindsey's hand being cut off. Never. Stops. Being. Funny.
Steve, aka Lindsey's Evil Hand (blatently an excuse to grope Angel and blame it on some Wolfram and Hart-style spookiness - 'cause you know Angel would be gullible enough to believe it)
"These chains must be forced from some mystical metal."
"Really?"
"No, I was just trying to make myself feel better."
Wesley pretending to be Angel in the Virginia episode. "Oh no, not the sun! For I am a vampire, and... oh. Ah." Also, Angel's "Not a Eunuch!" bit.
Wesley and Cordy pretending to be Buffy and Angel:
"Kiss me!"
"Bite me!"
"Why don't you both bite me?"
The Dance of Joy.
"Kumshuk with a Groosalug."
The heartbreakiness of 'I Will Remember You'. Ohh, Angel.
And, of course, 'In The Dark'. That whole episode is great, from Spike's voice-over at the begining ("To the Angelmobile, away!") to Oz's "You're incredibly pale" at the end.
Five years of Angel. Seven years of Buffy. It's the end of an era. |
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[May. 29th, 2004|07:13 pm] |
Aah, this is the reason I read fanfics. Kiss of Moonlight is a delightfully son-con Campula/Velkan piece, with a nice, big NC-17 rating, which we all I know I love.
Mmm, satisfying.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go bask in the afterglow. And watch some old episodes of Angel. I just love seeing him be all badass. Damn it, I'm such a Lindsey! |
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[May. 25th, 2004|11:29 am] |
Spike and Angel's Big Gay Roman Adventure rocks. There's no other way to put it. So much goodness.
The cookie dough rant. The slow-motion fight accompanied by Dean Martin songs. The moped. The argument in the elevator. Andrew. Gypsies. The Italian Wolfram and Hart. Spit humour. Bombs. Spike's coat.
And the dialogue. Don't get me wrong, nobody will ever replace Cordy and Xander in terms of 'hilariously quotable one-liners', but there were some gems here:
"You are the very definition of handsome. You take my breath away. I have no breath!"
"The Gypsies, they are filthy people. [spits] We will speak of them no more!"
"They give you bomb? Oh, they always do that to first-timers in this country."
"Is Angel crying?"
"No! [pause] Not yet!"
"I part my threshold to you. By which I mean, my doorway. Obviously."
"Unless the Immortal kills you. Which would be sad."
"He's not going to kill me."
"Not if I'm with you."
"Hop on, little momma."
"I'm not riding on the back!"
"I was confused, you git! It's very loud in here!"
"Son of a bitch!"
"Oh look, the Americans are using violence to solve their problems. What a suprise."
"Wait a minute, I wasn't in Italy in the 1950's."
"Oh, guess not. You really missed out."
"Concurrently?!"
"You never let us do that!"
"Those were my nuns!"
"Is there anything under 'Blood Vengance'?"
Le sigh. I'm going to miss this show.
Oh, and I know a lot of people had issues about Team Angel not telling the Burkles about Fred, but, in the words of Holland Manners, "I just can't seem to care." |
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[May. 22nd, 2004|10:13 pm] |
Aw damnit, I'm such a snivelling bitch.
Have just finished watching the last episode of Angel - much like pulling off a sticking plaster, I decided it would be less painful if I got it all over at once. Wrong.
Angel signing away the Shanshu broke my heart. I didn't stop crying from that point on. Though I note, his signature looked totally different from the one on the memory-wipe contract - here it was practically illegible. Maybe he signed it 'Spike'. That would be funny.
I appreciated the slashiness between Lindsay and Angel:
"I want you, Lindsay." *pause* "I'm thinking about rephrasing that."
"Yeah, I think I'd be more comfortable if you did."
Not to mention: "If the next words out of your mouth are 'Kill Spike', we just might to have to kiss."
Also: "Your manservant has become entangled in my bodily fluids again!". Bwahaha.
Connor was actually likable (and whilst I was already crying, I cried harder when he came to help his dad out. I'm such a sap). Spike's poetry got applause. BlueFred thought Gunn was too pretty to die. Harmony's still evil. And Lorne...
Oh dear God, Lorne.
There are no words.
So, in conclusion: Goodbye, Doyle. Adios, Cordy. So long, Evil Hand. Later days, Hyperion. See you around, seabreezes. Nice knowing you, subtext.
And FUCK YOU, Warner Brothers. |
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[Apr. 27th, 2004|11:33 pm] |
Am listening to James D'Arcy read 'The Statement' on audio CD. His voice is most sexful, but as for the story itself, I find it hard to believe that the Catholic church would go to such efforts to hide a war criminal. After all, that's time that could be spent raping little boys.
Note: priests rape, pirates molest. It's an important distinction.
In other news, Angel was very boring tonight. Wesley, blah-blah, Fred, blah-blah, Gun got stabbed, some other stuff happened. Some very minor Angel/Spike moments (yes, Vernon, Angel/Spike, not the other way around, now be told) but all in all, a waste of my time. |
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[Apr. 21st, 2004|10:23 pm] |
New word:
Holmesexual. Meaning 'one of indeterminate sexuality who also has damn sexy hands'.
Proof that Jonathan and I having three-week arguments over fictional characters is indeed good for something.
In other news, Angel and Spike were being most homoerotic last night. Shame Fred and Wes had to spoil everything by, you know, being in the episode. Some people have no consideration.
And Lorne punched Eve. And Spike and Angel were all, "Go Lorne!" So was I, in fact. |
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