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"...I do not peddle flesh; I sell dreams..."
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[Sep. 22nd, 2008|10:53 pm] |
Rocknrolla, you guys. Go and watch it, or I will be forced to conclude that my FList is made up of dames and homos. And we don't want that.
In other news, how much are werewolves the unloved red-headed stepchildren of the Halloween merchandising world? So far this year I have only seen one werewolf-themed Halloween thingie, and it was this stupid walking doll in ASDA with a stupid face that was stupid. And there's about eighty thousand different pumpkin dolls and lanterns and tea-light holders and everything else - I mean, seriously, how many pumpkins do we need? I've put a moratorium on any further pumpkin-related purchases this year in protest. Less pumpkins, more werewolves! Also more cats, haunted houses, spooky trees and ghosts. I think there's probably enough skull-themed stuff around aswell. There could be more witchy stuff, but witches are usually lame, so unless there's a sudden leap in the awesomeness of witch merchandise, I am ambivilent.
But seriously, let's have some respect for werewolves. They are as much a part of Halloween as cats or ghosts or any other imaginary creatures! This is what happens when you let pansies like James Spader and Pacey play them on TV - people lose all regard for their bitey awesomeness. You can bet if Idris Elba was a werewolf, he would teach you all some manners and allow me to get posters with his cool face on.
On what would once have been an Idris Elba-related note (SOB!) the fifth season of the Wire arrived today, yay! I am not watching it though, as the Tribe has once again sucked me into a swirling vortex of bright colours and dodgy acting, and I fear going from the cheesetastic joy of the Tribe to the ghettolicious world of the Wire without some kind of transitional period to adjust from "camp but kind of homoerotic" to "so awesome it does not need to rely on hot man-on-man action to hold my attention" would have a devastating effect on my fragile psyche. And yes, you did read that right, the Wire is so great I don't even need to supplement it with porn. In fact, I have no desire for Wireporn at all.
...but if you want to send me pictures of Stringer looking hot and stern, that would be okay. |
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[Sep. 13th, 2008|11:37 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | 4400, adam baldwin, american werewolf in paris, blood and chocolate, brendan fraser, christian bale, colin farrel, corey feldman, cursed, daddy winchester, dawsons freak, dead man on campus, deadwood, denzel washington, edward james olmos, edward norton, gabriel byrne, gerard butler, heroes, history boys, hugh jackman, ian mcshane, idina menzel, idris elba, jack nicholson, james remar bitches, james spader, keiffer sutherland, liam neeson, liam neeson is god, rome, russel crowe, stargate, supernatural, swat, the coreys, the downey, the lost boys, the lost boys 2, the wire, todd for prime minister, van helsing, weekenders, werewolves yay, wizard of oz, wolf, zodiac | ] |
Oh God, you guys! I was going to write a post here about how we should all vote for Todd as our next Prime Minister, and then maybe let him eat our old government once he wins (landslide victory, running on a "wearing black leather and eating people" platform) but I just watched Lost Boys 2: the Tribe, and oh, it was beautiful beyond words! I mean, okay, I got a bit annoyed with the gratuitous titty shots, but all of those people died, so that's okay. Andandand Corey Feldman! And make sure you watch the credits and the alternate scenes and just generally revel in how completely unexpectedly WONDERFUL it is.
Don't watch the music videos, though. They are lame.
Also, if anyone wants to earn my undying love, they will write Lost Boys 2 porn. Any pairing, I don't even care, I love them all so much.
In news that involves neither vampires nor imaginary life-sucking aliens running for office, I am very displeased with the non-studliness of the actors being cast to play werewolves over the last two decades. I mean, Jack Nicholson and Hugh Jackman, I can totally understand, but James Spader? The French guy from SWAT? Josh from Dead Man on Campus? Fucking Pacey?!* Also, how is Jack Nicholson versus James Spader in any way a contest? I could kick the shit out of James Spader. Scooter the Happy Pony could kick the shit out of James Spader. So could a small bundle of twigs and your daddy. Working seperately. For the edification of future film-makers, I have compiled a list of actors who have a level of studliness adequate for playing a werewolf**. Read it, learn it, live it.
Colin Farrel
Daddy Winchester
Ian McShane
Adam Baldwin
Edward James Olmos
James Remarr
Edward Norton
Keifer Sutherland
Idina Menzel (yes, just as it is possible for a man to be man-pretty, it is possible for a woman to be girl-studly)
Liam Neeson
Colin Farrel (so studly, he gets listed twice)
Idris Elba
Omar
Russel Crowe
Seth Bullock
Joe Flanigan
Christian Bale
Jordan Collier (Shawn can be his little werewolf bitch in this case)
Mark Anthony
Nathan Petrelli
Robert Downey Jnr (Jake Gyllenhaal can be his little werewolf bitch)
Denzel Washington
Gabriel Byrne
Ryan O'Reilly
Gerard Butler
Brendan Fraser
Scripps
As you can see, there are plenty of studly actors to choose from when making your werewolf movie. So please stop casting little wussy he-bitches unless they're Shawn from the 4400 or Robert Greysmith from Zodiac. Actually, if anyone wants to do a werewolf sequel to Zodiac, replete with Paul/Robert sexin', I will sell you my first-born child.
*Uh, those last two are seperate issues, I didn't mean it as "Josh from Dead Man on Campus fucking Pacey". Cooper would cut Pacey like the little bitch that he is, were that the case.
**Where I didn't know, or just couldn't be bothered to look up, an actors name, I just listed him under a character name. |
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[Jan. 3rd, 2007|06:34 pm] |
VICTORY IS MINE! I have at last triumphed over the beast that is Gamestec, and having completed my nine-day stint, I may now kick back and enjoy my four-day weekend with the Hogfather, Torchwood and whatever episodes of the Wire that I don't watch tonight. Also, I would like to say that Stringer Bell makes economics both sexy and dangerous, and if he was an actual lecturer instead of a drug-dealing dealer of drugs, I would actually get up on time for his classes. Because otherwise he would KILL ME DEAD in both a literal and figurative sense.
In other news, though the Devil in Amber may lack the homoerotic misadventures that made the Vesuvius Club such a bundle of man-lovin' joy, it does without a doubt have the best opening line ever: "He was American, so it seemed only fair to shoot him." Aanywa, it is plenty homoerotic thus far and I think Miriglum is telling lies when she says otherwise.
Also, you know what I totally forgot to mention in my trauma over Greasy McPimpface and my glee over Torchwood? This absolutely spooktastic fog that came out of NOWHERE IN PARTICULAR last Thursday. Seriously, I said goodbye to HAG, went into Borders, noodled around somewhat and bought Torchwood, and when I emerged Leeds was made entirely of grey spooky greyness! And then I had to walk home and it was pretty damn spooky, but not in a cool way like fog on the IoM is spooky, where all it's hiding is boring Isle of Man-ness, but in a SCARY and UNPLEASENT way whereby the fog is hiding NEFARIOUS VILLIANS. And because this is Leeds, it wouldn't be cool nefarious villians like werewolves or ghostcars, but distasteful and everyday nefarious villians like muggers and rapists.
Anyway, I believe that's about it for tonight, so I bid you adeiu and farewell while I go and enjoy my FOUR DAY WEEKEND! Later days. |
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[Jun. 10th, 2006|10:22 pm] |
Stupid sun! Not only do I have that stupid thing where your sunburn stops right where your sleeve was, so you have one half of your arm deathly-white and the other angry lobster red, but to make matters worse, it's only on one arm. What is up with you, universe?!
In other news, OMG POOR SONNY! Two episodes in a row he has to watch someone shoot themselves right in front of him and not be able to do anything about it, and then Rico's all, man, you sure are acting cranky and he's all, yes, because I just spent two hours combing some guy's brains out of my hair and OH NO BECAUSE HIS HAIR IS SO LOVELY AND MUST NOT BE DEFILED! And, and! Where is Izzy? I need more Izzy and more Tommy, and less mad French women who try to kill Rico just for interupting their bathtimes.
Oh, and QoT, I totally saw that episode where Stringer goes to economics class, and he's all trying to run that photocopying shop according to the stuff he's learned even though it's just a front and lecturing the others about the difference between elastic and inelastic product and it's so awesome because they're just there like WTFBBQ? and it's hard to be Stringer Bell because you're just so much better than everyone else. |
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[Jun. 6th, 2006|10:26 pm] |
God! Today was a stupid day. The bus was late and the entire system crashed at work and we ended up having to write out everything by hand, and my God, what part of "the system is down" gives people problems? I can't look you up on the fucking computer because. It. Is. Down. It's not my fault you're too fucking retarded to know the name of the person who manages your account, and the last time I checked, my ID card said Customer Service Advisor, not Babysitter For The Mentally Deficient.
On a more upbeat note, I'm watching the Wire and oh my God, Idris Elba is Teh Hotness. And he can do an American accent and have it be all non-cringeworthy and he's all evil with his glasses and pinstripe suit and he draws little cartoons and OH MY GOD HE MUST PLAY LOUIS OR I WILL KILL YOUNGLINGS AND FALL IN LAVA! You know, if they ever made a Charlie Parker movie. Which they probably shouldn't because often it is not a good thing when books of awesomeness become movies of... less-than-awesomeness.
On the subject of books that may or may not become movies, does anyone remember when Inkheart was published here and the cover was all, "Soon to be a major motion picture!"? Well, that was a couple of years ago and I do not see any motion pictures, major or otherwise. I did, however, catch the pitiful one-day-only screening of the Thief Lord; I'm a big believer in the idea that even a mediocre film looks better on the big screen, and being already familiar with the movie itself gave me a chance to really enjoy some of the beautiful scenery. And perve on Rollo Weeks, of course. |
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[Aug. 25th, 2004|09:18 pm] |
Very disturbing conversation with Johnathan last night. Talking about the movie version of John Connolly's "Bad Men":
F: So, who do you think they'll cast as the giant policeman?
J: Tom Hanks.
F: Why?!
J: Because people always cast Tom Hanks in movies I want to see, just to spite me.
F: Fucking Holywood.
J: At least it's not a Charlie Parker movie. They'd probably cast Tom Hanks as Bird.
F: Eww! Never say that again.
J: And Mr T as Louis.
F: I'll cut you!
J: Heh.
F: Idris Elba* would be good as Louis. Providing he could to the accent.
J: They could get Christian Kane to do the voice-over.
F: He's from Louisiana, not fucking Texas!
J: True. Plus we need Christian Kane to play Angel.
F: *disgusted noise*
J: What? He's short, white, has curly hair and pouty lips. He's perfect.
F: Angel doesn't have pouty lips.
J: I always imagined him with pouty lips.
F: You ruin my life.
J: I know.
F: Can you imagine how weird it would be to have Lindsey playing a character called Angel? It breaks my mind.
J: We could get David Boreanaz to play Louis. With facepaint.
F: I hate you so bad.
J: *evil laugh*
My brother is a sick, sick puppy.
*Idris Elba = Vaughan Rice in "Ultraviolet". |
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