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"...I do not peddle flesh; I sell dreams..."
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[Nov. 30th, 2009|10:50 pm] |
I was going to come on here and rant about how I hate my job and the fact that I work with utter brain-dead twatosaurs, but I decided to put Big Wolf on Campus on while I waited for my tea to cook and OH GOD!
Seriously you guys, OH GOD! It is so beautiful and hilarious and occaisonally MASSIVELY WRONG and I actually hurt a little bit from laughing so hard, OH DUDES YOU MUST ALL WATCH IT AND MARVEL AT ITS WONDERMENT!
I feel like I should make some kind of announcement at work, like, ASSHOLES! BWOC JUST SAVED YOU FROM GETTING YOUR FUCKING THROATS SLIT, YOU GODDAMNED RETARDS!
Oh, Big Wolf on Campus, ILU. |
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[Sep. 13th, 2009|10:38 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | alexander, american psycho, antonio banderas, batbale, black sheep, blood ties, christian bale, colin farrel, david boreanaz, jared leto, johnny depp, moonlight, my so-called life, outrageous fortune, snithy, supernatural, the dave, the tribe, true blood, vampires yay, werewolves yay, zombies | ] |
Dudes, Outrageous Fortune is so good, I am completely amazed by both its non-shoddiness and its entire lack of ridiculous facepaint and zombie sheep. Also, Antonia Prebble can actually act* (and is a bit hot too), the psycho peadophile bootcamp instructor who debauches Lex is kind of awesome and likable and not a creepy violent child-molester at all and Van is so adorable, oh my God, there should be a show that is just Van and Munter running around being stoned and ineffective and beautiful.
Also, and totally unrelated, Jared Leto so needs a new show. He's pretty, and all of my favourite shows have either ended or started to suck in the not-fun way, and his band is fucking awful, so clearly he needs to be back on television. Unfortunately, despite the best efforts of myself and El Snithador, we have been unable to come up with the perfect vehicle for Jared Leto's particular brand of prettiness and indeterminate acting abilities.
I think the problem is that the stuff he's been in doesn't really give us a handle on what he can and can't do. I mean, let's break down Jared Leto's key strengths, as demonstrated in his most memorable roles:
- My So-Called Life: He plays Jordan Catalano, a role that consists of leaning against things and making goo-goo eyes at Claire Danes. Oh, and Brian in that one really strange episode where the show went all Cyrano on us.
- American Psycho: Christian Bale hits him in the face with an axe. Everyone laughs. Yes, it was fucking hilarious, but it seems like Batbale did all the work in that scene.
- Alexander: He wears a lot of eyeliner and follows Colin Farrell around while gazing at him in adoration. This isn't actually acting at all, as everyone has that reaction to Colin Farrell. Don't believe me? Watch the extras, Oliver Stone does the exact same thing every time Colin is on set.
So, what we need is a show that allows him to be pretty and a bit gay, without having to keep up with any actors who are prettier or more talented than him and without requiring to do anything too difficult, like excessive emoting or long speeches. I've also ruled out the following things:
- No shows about vampires. There's no point doing anything with vampires while True Blood is on the air, because Alan Ball is just going to laugh at us and pee in our faces. If this was a couple of years ago when all we had to contend with was Moonlight and Blood Ties, it would be different, but True Blood will outclass us and make us look bad.
- No shows with Colin Farrell, Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas, the Dave or Daddy Winchester. They're all hotter and/or better at acting than Jared, and that's not allowed.
- No shows about werewolves. Jared is a girly pretty-boy, and there have been enough non-manly werewolves in the past without him adding to their degradation.
Anything else is fair game, and so I open the floor to suggestions. Jared fights crime? Jared does crime? Jared is in space? Pitch your ideas in the comments, post them in your own LJ, make them an entry on 30SecondsToMarsSuckMonkeyBalls: go nuts! Let's start the Jared Leto TV Revival, and bring passable good looks and mediocre talent back to our screens where he belongs!
*Michelle Ang, however, cannot. |
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[Jul. 21st, 2009|12:23 am] |
GAYEST NINJAS EVER! Oh my fucking God, why is there not more Being Human? Like, right now. I need it! I'm trying to watch Mad Men and I can't even lust after YoSaffBridge properly because I'm getting cranky that there is no flaily werewolf action. Jon Hamm would be an awesome werewolf, but he wouldn't flail. Probably. He'd just be morose and sad and then randomly fucking punch you in your face!
Also on the subject of Mad Men, I am so glad Brickhead gave her baby away. Can you imagine how ugly the child of her and Connor would be? Seriously. It would in fact be Sloth. Gross.
Dude. Don. Quit looking into your drink all sad-like and do some flailing. Your handsome face no longer pleases me. |
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[Jul. 19th, 2009|10:16 pm] |
Dudes, how did Herrick ever get made a vampire? He totally has no neck. Seriously, he is like, George Lucas and Elijah Wood levels of necklessness. What did they bite?
Also, I want to get a soundbite of George saying "Oh, and it's one E in paedo, not two, you cretins!" and make it the sound for text messages on my phone. Because that line is SO MUCH WIN. Close runner-ups were "I'm not the pervert, that's my housemate. And actually, he's not a pervert either" and "Who keeps their rotten tomatoes? Who looks in their salad cooler, sees their tomatoes are on the turn and thinks 'oh no, no I'll hang on to those in case some paedos move in opposite'?", but I think maximum win goes to being targeted by an angry mob of neighbours for being a child-molester and still caring about correct spelling. |
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[Jul. 18th, 2009|06:28 pm] |
Dudes, Being Human is completely awesome. The show, I mean, not actually being human, because as I have said previously, that's actually a bit rub. But anyway, oh my God, George! I love him! He is my favouritest werewolf of all the werewolves throughout the recorded history of time! He's so shrill and flaily and random.
Annie and Mitchell are also good. Evil Fiance Owen is good in the sense that he is horrifying and evil. Herrick is not good, because he's like a poor mans' Holland Manners, who in turn was a bargain basement version of the Mayor. But mostly GEORGE! Oh, he is so wonderful. I hope it runs for millions of years and I never get bored or snarky about it and they never introduce lame plots where, FOR EXAMPLE, Lauren turns up with Mitchell's baby whose arrival was foretold by prophecy and who has the power to RUIN EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW EVER AND GENERALLY WHINE AND HAVE A STUPID FUCKING FACE.
Oh God Vincent Kartheiser, I fucking hate you. |
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[Jun. 16th, 2009|10:11 pm] |
DUDES! Why does God hate me so much? All I want in life is a bowl with some ghosts on that I can eat my cereal out of. How hard can that be? But no, England has to made of losers who do not celebrate Halloween properly (ie, with GHOST BOWLS). Is it so inconcievable that I might be allowed to enjoy a bowl of delicious soup while staring at some ghosts? No!
And then, just to make it worse, while the UK eBay is all,"Did you mean these cheap plastic pieces of shit from Poundland?" the American eBay is like, "BEHOLD! A veritable cornucopia of BEAUTIFUL GHOST BOWLS that are NOT FOR FROODLES! AHAHAHAH! This one has SKULLS!"
AMERICANS! Quit hogging all the ghostbowls.
ENGLAND! Get it together and start having better Halloween stuff all year 'round.
EVERYONE! More werewolves please!
Also someone should buy me that Little Red Riding Hood cuckoo clock from Cursed. NO I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S NOT REAL I WANT IT!
This post has been brought to you by the International Brotherhood of Froodles Wanting Ghostbowls. |
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[Sep. 22nd, 2008|10:53 pm] |
Rocknrolla, you guys. Go and watch it, or I will be forced to conclude that my FList is made up of dames and homos. And we don't want that.
In other news, how much are werewolves the unloved red-headed stepchildren of the Halloween merchandising world? So far this year I have only seen one werewolf-themed Halloween thingie, and it was this stupid walking doll in ASDA with a stupid face that was stupid. And there's about eighty thousand different pumpkin dolls and lanterns and tea-light holders and everything else - I mean, seriously, how many pumpkins do we need? I've put a moratorium on any further pumpkin-related purchases this year in protest. Less pumpkins, more werewolves! Also more cats, haunted houses, spooky trees and ghosts. I think there's probably enough skull-themed stuff around aswell. There could be more witchy stuff, but witches are usually lame, so unless there's a sudden leap in the awesomeness of witch merchandise, I am ambivilent.
But seriously, let's have some respect for werewolves. They are as much a part of Halloween as cats or ghosts or any other imaginary creatures! This is what happens when you let pansies like James Spader and Pacey play them on TV - people lose all regard for their bitey awesomeness. You can bet if Idris Elba was a werewolf, he would teach you all some manners and allow me to get posters with his cool face on.
On what would once have been an Idris Elba-related note (SOB!) the fifth season of the Wire arrived today, yay! I am not watching it though, as the Tribe has once again sucked me into a swirling vortex of bright colours and dodgy acting, and I fear going from the cheesetastic joy of the Tribe to the ghettolicious world of the Wire without some kind of transitional period to adjust from "camp but kind of homoerotic" to "so awesome it does not need to rely on hot man-on-man action to hold my attention" would have a devastating effect on my fragile psyche. And yes, you did read that right, the Wire is so great I don't even need to supplement it with porn. In fact, I have no desire for Wireporn at all.
...but if you want to send me pictures of Stringer looking hot and stern, that would be okay. |
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[Sep. 13th, 2008|11:37 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | 4400, adam baldwin, american werewolf in paris, blood and chocolate, brendan fraser, christian bale, colin farrel, corey feldman, cursed, daddy winchester, dawsons freak, dead man on campus, deadwood, denzel washington, edward james olmos, edward norton, gabriel byrne, gerard butler, heroes, history boys, hugh jackman, ian mcshane, idina menzel, idris elba, jack nicholson, james remar bitches, james spader, keiffer sutherland, liam neeson, liam neeson is god, rome, russel crowe, stargate, supernatural, swat, the coreys, the downey, the lost boys, the lost boys 2, the wire, todd for prime minister, van helsing, weekenders, werewolves yay, wizard of oz, wolf, zodiac | ] |
Oh God, you guys! I was going to write a post here about how we should all vote for Todd as our next Prime Minister, and then maybe let him eat our old government once he wins (landslide victory, running on a "wearing black leather and eating people" platform) but I just watched Lost Boys 2: the Tribe, and oh, it was beautiful beyond words! I mean, okay, I got a bit annoyed with the gratuitous titty shots, but all of those people died, so that's okay. Andandand Corey Feldman! And make sure you watch the credits and the alternate scenes and just generally revel in how completely unexpectedly WONDERFUL it is.
Don't watch the music videos, though. They are lame.
Also, if anyone wants to earn my undying love, they will write Lost Boys 2 porn. Any pairing, I don't even care, I love them all so much.
In news that involves neither vampires nor imaginary life-sucking aliens running for office, I am very displeased with the non-studliness of the actors being cast to play werewolves over the last two decades. I mean, Jack Nicholson and Hugh Jackman, I can totally understand, but James Spader? The French guy from SWAT? Josh from Dead Man on Campus? Fucking Pacey?!* Also, how is Jack Nicholson versus James Spader in any way a contest? I could kick the shit out of James Spader. Scooter the Happy Pony could kick the shit out of James Spader. So could a small bundle of twigs and your daddy. Working seperately. For the edification of future film-makers, I have compiled a list of actors who have a level of studliness adequate for playing a werewolf**. Read it, learn it, live it.
Colin Farrel
Daddy Winchester
Ian McShane
Adam Baldwin
Edward James Olmos
James Remarr
Edward Norton
Keifer Sutherland
Idina Menzel (yes, just as it is possible for a man to be man-pretty, it is possible for a woman to be girl-studly)
Liam Neeson
Colin Farrel (so studly, he gets listed twice)
Idris Elba
Omar
Russel Crowe
Seth Bullock
Joe Flanigan
Christian Bale
Jordan Collier (Shawn can be his little werewolf bitch in this case)
Mark Anthony
Nathan Petrelli
Robert Downey Jnr (Jake Gyllenhaal can be his little werewolf bitch)
Denzel Washington
Gabriel Byrne
Ryan O'Reilly
Gerard Butler
Brendan Fraser
Scripps
As you can see, there are plenty of studly actors to choose from when making your werewolf movie. So please stop casting little wussy he-bitches unless they're Shawn from the 4400 or Robert Greysmith from Zodiac. Actually, if anyone wants to do a werewolf sequel to Zodiac, replete with Paul/Robert sexin', I will sell you my first-born child.
*Uh, those last two are seperate issues, I didn't mean it as "Josh from Dead Man on Campus fucking Pacey". Cooper would cut Pacey like the little bitch that he is, were that the case.
**Where I didn't know, or just couldn't be bothered to look up, an actors name, I just listed him under a character name. |
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[Jul. 28th, 2008|09:28 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | american gothic, american werewolf in london, batbale, christian bale, cillian murphy, dark knight, gary oldman, heath ledger, heathfest, league of hot, lucas buck, numb3rs, snithy, the downey, werewolves yay | ] |
The Dark Knight, dudes! ( Read more... )
In other news, the Southernator and I celebrated Heathfest '08 with 10 Things I Hate About You and A Knight's Tale, the Southernator proved how much she fails at life by perving wrongly during TDK and forcing me to slap her, and also by not admitting the awesomeness of Numb3rs (another reason she has been removed from her position of power at the League of Hot) and we saw the WETA exhibition at the Royal Armouries and were confused by the random Poodle of Sauron armor. Also I totally broke my vow not to buy any more books or DVDs or random junk until such time as I have bought new shelves to hold them, and now I have to eat hobos for next two months. Fortunately they are drug-addled and easy to catch. I would like to add that really this is Snithy's fault, as she did not do as a true friend would and stop me, even after I graciously agreed to allow Robert Downey Junior be joint third with The Colin in the League of Hot. I even gave him his holy name - The Downey. I feel it says all that needs to be said. |
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[Jul. 23rd, 2008|12:07 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | big daddy luthor, blood ties, bones, joseph gordon levitt, kathy najimy, lou diamond phillips, numb3rs, smallville, the dave, the wire, werewolves yay, will patton | ] |
So, is it just me or is the entire plot of Numb3rs pretty much "everyone wants to molest Charlie"? Seriously dudes, I have even broken it down into list form and the evidence is clear.
-You've got the Core Charlie Molesters, aka Amita, Colby and Don. It's actually canon that they want to molest Charlie, so I'm not going to bother talking about them today.
-David probably wants to molest Charlie, but Alimi Ballard seems incapable of portraying any emotion other than "amused condescension", so it's hard to tell*.
-Milly really wants to molest Papa Eppes, but I bet if she had the chance to indulge in naughty Charlie-touching, she would.
-Megan wants to, but she's smart emough to realise that Don would cut her like a bitch, so she wouldn't go through with it.
-Ditto The Bunk. He would think about it, and smoke some cigars.
-Larry is busy being distracted by the cosmos and Megan, so he has no time for Charlie-molestin'. He's the exception that proves the rule.
-Big Daddy Luthor wants to, but Charlie spent that whole episode sulking because for once, he wasn't the one with the most magnificent hair on the show, so it would never work between them.
-Russ Brennan definately wanted to, but he caught fire, so that's that.
-Lou Diamond Phillips pretends he's teaching Charlie about shooting, but really it's an excuse to touch him up on the gun range.
-Oswald Kitner hasn't realised his own Charlie-molestering desires yet, but he's probably not over the suprise of getting shot at and recruited into the Sooper Sekrit FBI Baseball Doping Detection Team. Give him time.
-Vicky Nelson for sure wanted to. She's all, "Oh Professor Eppes, let's talk about stupid car crashes and shit while I flick my hair attractively!" Then she had to go fight evil in Toronto, so that was that.
-Lady Lawyers usually prefer molestin' Don. It must be a secret rule that Alpha Male FBI Agents and Lady Lawyers are attracted to each other, as The Dave has pretty much the same arrangement in Bones, ie all Lady Lawyers are belong to him.
-Marshall Penfield not only wants to molest Charlie, but actually goes so far as to math-stalk him. That's whole new levels of creepy.
-that random English neurosurgeon did, but then she was like, "Oh wait, I forgot I am actually engaged, so, bye!" and that was the end of her.
-Finn Montegomery did, but he killed himself. Good day, Finn Montegomery.
-Joseph Gordon Levitt did, but he was busy murdering folk and going to jail.
-Random Columbian Exile did - did you see how inappropriately close he was getting when Charlie was explaining how to not get assassinated?
-Will Patton pretends he's too gruff and no-nonsense LAPD-like to want to molest Charlie, but we know better.
-The idiot Black Ops guy who tried to put sarin in the water supply did, but he was an idiot, so, later for him.
I was going to write something about work here, but it would have been boring and negative, so I shall leave you with my "everybody wants to molest Charlie" ramblings and go to bed. Adieu!
*This is actually true. David would have the exact same expression even if he was bitten by a werewolf or something. Colby, Don and Megan would be all like OMGWTFWEREWOLF! and David would have this look on his face like he's enjoying a private joke that nobody else is smooth enough to get. Lycanthropy would not even dent the surface of his cool. He'd be like, "Oh, I'm a werewolf. How mildly entertaining." |
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[Oct. 26th, 2006|06:35 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | big wolf on campus, corey feldman, corey haim, corpse bride, halloween, house, kingdom hospital, snithy, stephen king is a smug fuckwit, the lost boys, werewolves yay | ] |
Greetings, mortals! I just know you're all dying to hear what I've been up to since last my words of wisdom did brighten your pathetic lives, and so here I am, selflessly sharing my brilliance with you all.
Snithy, you will no doubt be gratified to know that preparations for the GREATEST HALLOWEEN EVER continue unabated, and yes, you will be expected to take part in all the joy that will be going on when you visit. And yes, you're going t watch the Corpse Bride. And wear a costume. And smile like you mean it, bitch! Evil laugh, etc.
Did anyone here watch the original version of Kingdom Hospital? The one actually created by Lars von Trier and free of all the annoying Stephen King shout-outs? ("Great art does sell"... "America's greatest living artist"... yeah, shut up, King.) And if so, do they ever actually explain the deal with Paul and the second Dr Gottreich? Because you know, little ghost girls and giant shark-anteater hybrids are cool and all, but at heart I'm a shallow person, and pretty ghost boys are always going to hold my attention over silly things like plot.
Also, I finally got my hands on the two-disc edition of the Lost Boys, and oh man, has time ever not been good to Corey Haim. Although I did laugh evilly when he and Corey Feldman were there talking about their careers as if they actually still had any. But at least Corey Feldman still has his looks. And his gloriously husky voice. Swoon!
On a Corey-related note, you know what show is completely awesome that I had forgotten was totally awesome? Big Wolf on Campus. SO AWESOME! I actually feel inspired to... I don't know, do some unspecified fandomish thing. I'm sure eventually my natural laziness will reassert itself and the urge will pass, however. But still. Awesome! Like, when Merton is all frozen in stone, and he leaves the video diary for Lori and Tommy telling them how to defeat all these monsters and there's that scene of him flipping over the index card, seeing Celine Dion's name and screaming, or taking an electrical drill to Freddie Prinze Jnr, or his tip for dealing with an evil leprechaun ("If he's this high... just kick him."). And Vince! And Sparky! And Boris! Oh, how I love Boris. And the boyband from outer space and the male pregnancy and the... other good thing I was going to mention, but it escapes me. And the Coreys, of course, although Corey Feldman is clearly the superiour Corey.
Anyway, I would ramble for longer but time grows short and I have House slash to read orphens to donate money to over the Internet, so farewell! |
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[May. 12th, 2006|10:00 pm] |
I have come to the conclusion that Big Wolf on Campus could not be any gayer if it tried. There are films containing actual gay sex that are less gay than this show. Also, that episode with Tommy's evil alter-ego, where he's watching Jerry Springer or whatever with Dean, and he laughs at one of the guests and says "Loser! No wonder your birth mother didn't want you"?
I wish I knew someone who was adopted just so I could say that to them.
In other news, it needs to hurry up and be May 25 already. I need me some fine Wolveriney goodness. Also the Thief Lord and Miami Vice need to come out really soon and shut up Helen Colin Farrell is not anybody's bitch! |
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[May. 2nd, 2006|10:38 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | asoue, big wolf on campus, drawn together, lemony snicket, liam neeson is god, miami vice, narnia, neverending story, peter pan, pirates, werewolves yay, xmen evolution | ] |
Big Wolf on Campus makes Miami Vice references! It can't be natural to be as pleased by this as I am, but come on, "Next week we'll be discussing the rise and fall of Don Johnson"? Mr D, you are my hero even if you do eat cute monkeys and pick fights with teenaged boys dressed as Micheal Jackson!
In other news, my Gay Pirate Book* has arrived, courtesy of Liam Neeson and Royal Mail, along with the second season of Miami Vice (OMG, that dude stole his Ferrari! Kill him, Elvis!) and the first season of Drawn Together. Not that this prevented me splurging on the Chronicals of Narnia boxset in Computer Exchange and discussing the Neverending Story with the cashier, but still, that should satisfy my entertainment needs until the third season of XM:E comes out.
*Captain Hook: the Adventures of a Notorious Youth, by JV Hart and illustrated by the guy who illustrates the Lemony Snicket books. I'm on a Peter Pan kick this week. |
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[Apr. 27th, 2006|09:38 pm] |
Although not strictly vampire-themed and also sadly lacking in the Sexy Priests Who Kill People department, LXG has made it on my playlist purely because I was in the mood for the wonderfully snarky and intolerably gorgeous Dorian Gray, a character who has done much to lessen my desire to kick Stuart Townsend in the nuts for his part in making me sit through QotD. Still, him being snarky to Secret Agent!Tom Sawyer is all kinds of funny. Poor sad Tom Sawyer. Also, seriously, what is up with Roxula's accent? Obviously when he's the Phantom, it's all generic Eastern European, and that's fine, because if 24 has taught me anything, it's that all villians come from Eastern Europe, but the rest of the time it switches from upper-class to working-class English for no obvious reason and it makes me cross with it's fakosity. Because, you know, Mr Hyde, Captain Nemo and Tom Sawyer teaming up to Fight Crime is totally believable, but stupid accents piss me off.
In other news concerning things that rule, Big Wolf on Campus is awesome. Santa's evil younger brother trying to steal Christmas, a superhero that starts fires to get attention and a demon stealing souls at a high school election are exactly what TV should be all about. That, and snide remarks about Tom Cruise and the Star Wars prequels. |
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[Jan. 16th, 2006|11:28 pm] |
I am shocked and appalled by the fact that there is a sequel to Underworld. I'm sorry, but did everyone concerned in that decision have the segment of their brain that detects things that are shit removed? The thing that annoyed me most about Underworld was that, by all rights, I should have found that movie awesome. Vampires versus Werewolves? That is my kind of movie, right there! I mean, sure, anyone with half a brain could tell you that the werewolves would win, vampires being by their very nature too inclined towards sighing and moping and having angst, whereas werewolves have no angst and simply chow down on your tasty innards, but come on! The whole premise was a recipe for tacky gore-filled awesomeness, and in the end, it just sucked big fat donkey cock all over the big screen.
And really, if any schlocky psuedo-horror movie of the last couple of years deserved a sequel, it should have been Van Helsing. I mean, they already removed the worst thing about that film by having the decency to kill off Anna, paving the way for more awesome hijinx and, of course, the inevitable return of Roxula. A shame they wasted the awesomely pretty Velkan, but still, my point is: better than Underworld, you dozy fucks! |
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[Dec. 7th, 2005|11:47 pm] |
That hairy palms scene in Ginger Snaps: Unleashed? Best scene in a werewolf movie, ever, full stop. And aww, poor Whitney. He never get a break. Dating Lana, getting blown up, getting replaced by a shape-shifting lesbian psycho, and being fed to a werewolf over something you didn't even do? Harsh, man. |
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[Dec. 6th, 2005|11:56 pm] |
Normally I love the IMDB. It's the Holy Grail of movie geekdom and the next best thing to a cure for those of us who suffer from HITS*.
But I could really have done without knowing that Tino and Dash X are played by the same guy. I keep imagining Dash getting all worked up about not being awarded a Yearbook Superlative or tricking Mars into buying a load of stupid stuffed dogs or being forced to dress up as a mime and consequently developing an irrational fear of seagulls.
In other news, Ginger Snaps Back is awesome. If you disgree with me, clearly you don't have a proper head.
*HITS: "Hey, isn't that...?" syndrome. |
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[Dec. 5th, 2005|11:57 pm] |
I just realised why Anubis's robe and hood looked so familar; he totally nicked if off the Werewolf Syndicate. I mean, okay, I know Controllin' Worm morality isn't comparable to that of human, but stealing the robes from the sole survivor of a group who were massacred by a pair of werewolf-eating vampires? For shame, Anubis. For shame.
In other news, Corey Feldman is hot. This of course is naught but the simple truth, but unfortunatly the (female) lecturer who failed me on my I&A mock looks like a girl version of Corey, and that hurts me in my Fangirlish heart. |
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[Apr. 22nd, 2005|09:13 pm] |
More Highlander watchery. Duncan and Methos slay me with their cuteness. Have just been watching the episode where Duncan gets Methos to pretend to attack an Immortal called Robert in order to convince Robert's wife Angela that she still loves him. Methos' panicked expression and spazzy run when Angela chases after him with a sword is hilarious, but him tricking Duncan out of the barge and Duncan spitefully going around messing everything up as payback made me laugh so hard, I think most of Yorkshire heard me.
Alan complaining that Duncan sounds too American to make most of the flashbacks seem convincing. Jess didn't realise they were flashbacks, so presumably she just assumed Duncan liked prancing around in period clothing for the hell of it. But hey, who doesn't? I have no opinion, since Duncan + fluffy shirt renders me incapable of coherent thought.
You know who I miss? Xavier St Cloud. I mean, his episodes were kind of boring, but he was great. I'm so glad he still turns up in backstories every now and then.
Apparently Methos studied duelling and medicine at the University of Heidelberg in 1453. Merton planned to major in Paranormal Studies at the same university at the end of Big Wolf on Campus. Yay for bizarre fandomy crossovers!
In other news, today I made some very delicious brownies while listening to Hanson. Have come to the conclusion that Thlayli really does not like Hanson, as he went crazy and managed to leap over the four foot high puppy pen in which he lives, landing on the dining table and hiding behind a pile of old greeting cards. He has no appreciation for excellent 90's pop. I made it up to him by playing Simon and Garfunkel for an hour or so afterwards. |
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[Apr. 20th, 2005|02:12 pm] |
Oh, such a busy Froodle am I.
Marcus came 'round on Monday night - we had hot chocolate and I introduced him to the campy wonder that is Big Wolf on Campus. Much giggling at time-travelling Russian villians ("In future American pro wrestlers becomes governors. Is true! I am from future!"), gelatinous cubes, fire-breathing devil dogs, boybands from outer space, male pregnancy and of course, Vince. Also, I await the day somebody slashes Devon and Chad from N'sipid. "When we're alone, call me Admiral". It practically writes itself!
Yesterday Jess and I went to the new Chinese resturant that's opened near the train station - was very tasty and shall probably go again. Alan's working night shifts at the moment, so rather than have her drive back to Halifax at gone midnight and have Alan catch the morning rush-hour train home, she stayed at mine overnight. We went to a new bar called Cocoon, which was nice, being of the non-crowded, plenty of seating and no drunken morons variety. Also watched an episode of Highlander, despite Jessica's vehement protests (she Will succumb to the power of sexy Duncan, damn it. I'm not going to be the only one Fangirling him) and an episode of Firefly.
Jessica's latest scheme to make millions and avoid working ever again has taken the shape of creating a comedy sketch show based on the exploits of all the people we know. So we're sitting there in the lounge, scribbling down ideas, and Alan walks in.
Jess: Alan, help me think of something weird Catherine does.
Alan: *looks around him, taking in the rabbit pen, doll collection, comics strewn all over the floor and anime posters covering the walls* ...Is this a trick question?
Jess: Haha. Okay, you can make notes on James. That's going to be a goldmine.
Alan: Normally I could slag him off all day, but I'm just too tired.
Company is now called "The production company, for fucks sake!", based on Alan's reaction when we told him about Jess's plan. |
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[Jun. 12th, 2004|11:50 pm] |
Today is Bernard Black day. Yay for Hexmas! Also, in honour of Bernard Black, the ban on Fancying Irish People has been amended to create an exception for characters played by Dylan Moran. not that I imagine many people will fancy Simon from Shawn of the Dead, but oh well.
Urgh, my head - the Miriglum and I watched six consecutive hours of Big Wolf on Campus this afternoon and I think I've finally gone insane.
Also, I do not have a 'Mertonface', whatever that means, and even if I did, which I don't, I don't make it over Bernard Black. Though I admit to finding his hair rather attractive. |
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[Jun. 10th, 2004|07:16 pm] |
Spent the day backing up the Big Wolf on Campus tapes I bought from April's Video Vault onto DVD. Huzzah for naked!Merton and Tommy and Merton squabbling over whether Corey Feldman is cooler than Corey Haim (he totally is, just so we're clear).
Forgot to mention that yesterday was the fourth day of Hexmas, known as Deppday, where we celebrate the greatness of Johnny Depp. Mm, cheekbones. Today is Feltonday, were we give praise to the celloloid image of Draco Malfoy in all his blonde, pale-skinned glory. Mmm. |
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[Jun. 4th, 2004|07:04 pm] |
Aah, looks like Big Wolf on Campus will be back next week. Must have been screwy half-term scheduling. Goddamn Fox.
Also, neglected to mention last night, the guy that plays Stan Shunpike in PoA is the guy who played Hollom in Master and Commander. That amuses me.
What does not amuse me is the recent spate of Angel is Fat jokes I have been subjected to lately. Miriglum, Hex, Jonathan: knock it the fuck off, you bastards.
Poor fat Angel. Steve will always love you. |
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[May. 30th, 2004|11:22 pm] |
First and foremost, April's Tape Vault has all 65 episodes of Big Wolf on Campus on VHS for sale. $10 per tape plus shipping, payment through Paypal. Prepare not to hear from me for a few days once season 1 gets here. Woo!
Secondly, is there anything more depressing than introducing someone to a fandom dear to your heart, only to have them completely miss a major point? Well, there probably is, but it makes me pretty damn resentful. Crowley being black with no hair, honestly. Some people should have their fucking eyes put out if they're that stupid. Especially if they're 'bisexual Wiccans', and I use sarcastic quotemarks.
Thirdly, old-school Angel rocks. So, so much. And in view of the outcome of season 5, 'To Shanshu in LA' is an absolute heartbreaker. Poor, pretty Angel. Also Wesley. He became so annoying during the whole Fred-Gunn-Wesley love triangle of boringness, I'd all but forgotten how much I liked him during the latter half of season one, and all of season two.
Highlights thus far include:
"Can you fly?" Quite possibly Angel's coolest moment ever.
"I don't see Angel in tights... okay, now I do, and it's disturbing."
"Maybe I'm a little attracted." And there was a disturbance in the Force, as if a million Fangirls squee'd out at once.
"The good fight, yeah?" Sniff. Doyle.
"Low rats." Ha!
"Is that it? Am I done?" Again, 'Sniff. Doyle.'
"I don't need advice from some middle-class white dude that's dead." This is extra-funny because, when Gunn says this, Angel makes this little sad face that just screams 'Aw, I wanted to be a homie'. Heh, homie!Angel.
"Epiphanied off." Another wonderous Gunnism.
Gunn throwing that vampire into the foyer of WRH, and his 'evil white folks do have a Mecca' rant.
"I've seen you in bed," delivered to both Cordy and Wes. Watch Cordy's knowing smile when Gunn says this to Wesley. Funny 'cause it's true.
Angelus making a brief appearence in 'Eternity'. I love you, Angelus!
"Evil Angel never would have worn those pants."
Lindsey running Angel over in the Pickup Truck of Love, Or At Least Unrequited Lust.
Lindsey's hand being cut off. Never. Stops. Being. Funny.
Steve, aka Lindsey's Evil Hand (blatently an excuse to grope Angel and blame it on some Wolfram and Hart-style spookiness - 'cause you know Angel would be gullible enough to believe it)
"These chains must be forced from some mystical metal."
"Really?"
"No, I was just trying to make myself feel better."
Wesley pretending to be Angel in the Virginia episode. "Oh no, not the sun! For I am a vampire, and... oh. Ah." Also, Angel's "Not a Eunuch!" bit.
Wesley and Cordy pretending to be Buffy and Angel:
"Kiss me!"
"Bite me!"
"Why don't you both bite me?"
The Dance of Joy.
"Kumshuk with a Groosalug."
The heartbreakiness of 'I Will Remember You'. Ohh, Angel.
And, of course, 'In The Dark'. That whole episode is great, from Spike's voice-over at the begining ("To the Angelmobile, away!") to Oz's "You're incredibly pale" at the end.
Five years of Angel. Seven years of Buffy. It's the end of an era. |
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[May. 28th, 2004|08:57 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | big wolf on campus, corey feldman, dragimir, lord of the rings, pretty hobbits, richard roxburgh, sherlock holmes, the lost boys, treasure planet, van helsing, werewolves yay | ] |
Previously on Froodle: I was too busy grumbling about that damn spider to mention Corey Feldman was in Big Wolf on Campus last night. Damn, he's all shades of hot. I want to watch the Lost Boys again.
Van Helsing: The London Assignment is wonderful. Gabriel being molested by the Queen is like Lindsey getting his hand cut off: just never stops being funny. Carl in drag, (hereafter refered to as 'Dragimir') whining about the shade of lip rouge and the tightness of his corset, is the stuff of legend.
Like most people who've watched it, I take issue with it only being half an hour long - I know that's all it took to tell the story, but for £10, I feel like we should have gotten another 'episode' or whatever. Still, wasn't my money, so, meh.
The CGI was pretty bad in places, but not on the scale of, say, Treasure Planet, Underworld or the Richard Roxburgh version of Hound of the Baskervilles. Or even the VH movie itself.
Now, time for me to have a bath, then curl up in bed and watch 'Return of the King'. Or more accurately, all ROTK scenes with Merry and/or Pippin in. Which means it'll be about forty minutes long. |
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[May. 23rd, 2004|11:42 am] |
You know, I don't think I'm an especially bad person. I mean, sure, I could probably stand to spend more time studying and less time reading slashy fanfiction, and I'm sure it's not very moral of me to use my parent's credit cards to buy myself things from Amazon and blame it on my brothers, but still, I do my part to make the world a better place. I sneer at hippies, I mock wiccans, I kick the homeless and glare at small children. I wish a thousand deaths on telemarketers and teen mothers, and my contempt for people on the dole knows no limitations. I don't watch reality TV or chatshows. All in all, I think I tip the balance on the side of Good.
So why does the world take such delight in watching me suffer?
Seriously, I think there's a conspiracy going on to annoy me. First, there's the total lack of good Van Helsing toys. Then there's Orlando Bloom's continuing existance. And finally, as of a week Monday, Fox Kids will no longer be showing Big Wolf on Campus.
You know who I blame? David Blaine. I hate that bastard. It's all his fault. |
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[May. 9th, 2004|07:56 pm] |
Just got back from seeing Van Hellsing.
Sam West was in it, so it gets ten points from me just for that. Thought David Wenham was a little over-the-top as the uber-dorky science-genius-friar-sidekick bloke, but it did get a few giggles ("I'm a veritable cornucopia of talent" stands out). Dracula's brides were very camp, cheesy horror - they got on my nerves. Kate Beckinsdale was, suprisingly enough, quite bearable in her 'token love-interest' capacity and also looked several degrees of hot that outfit.
The oh-my-brother-is-a-werewolf-boo-hoo-don't-kill-him element was predictable and over-done - frankly, I couldn't wait for the silly bastard to get electrocuted. Dracula himself seemed to go from being cool and understated to hammy and annoying and back again several times in the film, but on balance, I think he tips the scales in the 'cool' section.
Mr. Hyde - meh. I liked the accent, and let's face it, the CGI Hyde was a lot better than the makeup on the LXG version of the character, but it was still kind of lame and unconvincing, not to mention, did we really need to see the builder's crack during that scene? I suggest not.
Igor and Frankenstein's creature were neither here nor there for me - I can pretty much take or leave them, though I did get a laugh out of Igor chasing Sidekickimir with a cattle prod.
The scene with Van Hellsing and Anna in the room full of Dracula's reanimated spawn seemed to be lifted straight out of the 1998 version of Godzilla, and also had elements of Gremlins 2: the New Batch. Not to mention, you'd think Dracula might have stopped to think, 'Hey, releasing thousands and thousands of mini vampire Gremlin thingies into the world is really going to mess with my food supply, maybe I shouldn't do this...', but I guess not.
Despite all that, I still thought it was niftykeen, and will probably go to see it again.
Also, Hugh Jackman was very good - there were some Wolverine-esque moments, but all in all, I was impressed by his performance. I want a doll of him now... |
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[Apr. 29th, 2004|08:44 pm] |
'Young Sherlock Holmes' is, uh, dreadful. There's no nice way to say it. Mind you, what else can we expect from Steven 'Twatface' Spielberg? I should have known, really.
More disturbing is the fact that Holmes (I was gonna write 'Little Sherlock', but realised in time how wrong it would sound) is played by Nicholas Rowe. Remember him? No?
He's the guy who gets his toes shot off in 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels'.
Great. Holmes grew up to be a dress-wearing, weed-smoking hippy.
Slightly less disturbing is the discovery that the name of the guy who plays Hatchet Harry is "P.H. Moriarty".
Eventually, I will learn my lesson and stop watching Sherlock Holmes films. It only ends in tears. Of laughter.
Slightly beside the point, I really, really want an Angel puppet. I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one, either.
Saw an episode of Big Wolf on Campus that I hadn't seen before tonight: Clipshow: Kiss of Death. Though, considering Death was played by Victor Pearson of Black Hole High fame, I would have been extremely disturbed if any kissing had, in fact, been involved. Poor Merton, he's everyone's bitch. |
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